


Lost in the Dream | jookyun

by Jessi_Moon



Category: Kpop - Fandom, Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boyfriends, Chaptered, Cheating, Crying, Diary/Journal, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Fantasy, Lim Changkyun - Freeform, Love, Lucid Dreaming, M/M, Mentioned Lee Hoseok, Mentioned Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Mentioned Wonkyun, Romance, Short & Sweet, fast paced, lee jooheon - Freeform, mentioned Kim Taehyung - Freeform, mentioned Min Yoongi - Freeform, monsta x - Freeform, what the fuck just happened, yoo kihyun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 02:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20056633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessi_Moon/pseuds/Jessi_Moon
Summary: Jooheon falls in love with the boy of his dreams.Literally...





	1. The Diary

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu}_

_2:07---------------❍----------3:59_

_↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺_

_"Make me free, make me lean_

_and baby make me see,_

_Don't make me lost in the dream_

_just come let's make a dream"_

_⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰_

Studying law wasn't something Jooheon ever thought he would do, but his parents definitely weren't going to let him pursue music after ranking first in his high school finals so he had to settle with that. On top of that, college wasn't fun either. Every lecture sounded the same to him, no phones allowed in the class that means no music help him kill time. His classmates were either ultra bookworms or spent way too much time out of the class for his liking.

Thank heavens, there was this one person who followed him right from high school to college, who kept him sane - Yoo Kihyun (who has vowed to irritate Jooheon all his life).

Out of all the people Jooheon found a perfect match in Kihyun. Although a complete crackhead, the boy has a philosophical side to him. Sometimes the words that come out of his mouth make him wonder if he really belongs to this era. He is as serious about his studies as Jooheon is so they always have a cut-throat competition. Putting it simply, he knows where to draw a line between fun and seriousness; something that Jooheon masters himself.

They had fixed times for studying where they'd go to the library and sit as far away from each other as they could; now being one.

Clicking his pen Jooheon tried to mug up the never ending list of penal codes in his text. Eyes drooping, his head bobbed down a few times but his lips never stopped chanting the codes silently.

He had to get better grades than Kihyun this time.

Yawning, he straightened his back and reached out for his bottle of water. He removed his prescription glasses and began gulping down water. He let his eyeballs roam freely so his mind could now focus on less boring things. And that's when he saw it.

It lay there perfectly placed on the table. Not too close and definitely not too far off the edge of the vacant table right next to him, almost as if somebody kept it there just for him to explore.

His head turned right and left to check if someone came back to claim it but when nobody did, with a quick movement he swept the diary off the table. The leather covering felt soft in his hands. A thin leather strap struggled to keep the thick book closed. It was relieved off the burden when he gently tugged at it. The pages where slightly brown and curled in at the sides indicating its over usage.

"CKI"

It read in beautiful calligraphic letters in the very first page. Jooheon felt an imaginary tug at his arms probably because he had a feeling this was someone's personal diary.

Perhaps there is an address somewhere inside? A phone number? Something that would help him locate the owner?

One more page in and he vaguely saw a few paragraphs before he closed the diary. He was familiar with the format of a diary entry. He was now sure it was a personal diary. He was surprised that someone would keep still keep a diary. He once did too (when his English teacher had assigned them to keep a diary for the whole of summer vacations for grading) but soon writing in it was the last thing that came to his mind and so it became a victim to his little brother's doodles.

His eyes lingered on the creases of the leather cover as his mind thought of the possibilities of the owner's personal information written somewhere inside. His hands itched to open it again and with a heavy heart he skimmed through the pages.

"Dear Silver," It read in the first page. This person has a name for their diary.

_Cute_.

A few paragraphs in, he couldn't find a single personal information about the owner other than how their day went that day. A few pages in and now he was secretly enjoying investigating the small portal into the mysterious owner's life.

The diary was thick and he was still in the first few pages dated in 2007s. No way on earth was he going to read all of that so he skipped to the later pages. He flipped a whole lot of pages only to land on a bookmark that caught his attention - a little blue sticker with "start" written in the very crooked letters the whole diary was filled with.

Interested, he began reading.

_"12th January 2019"_

_A week ago._

_"Dear Silver,_

_Remember the dream I told you about a few days ago? I saw it again but this time I..."_

A sudden pang of sleep hit him like a seawave and his eyes went drooping down every second. The more he let his eyes close the more sleepy he felt. He wanted to read the rest but even before he could finish reading the next line his head swooped down and his eyes closed in a deep slumber.

....

The realm seemed very strange. Pink clouds everywhere. Even though he couldn't find the source of light the place was well-lit. It felt like a dream to him.

He instinctively took a few steps forward when he felt his feet sinking. Looking at his feet, a low gasp left his mouth as his mind registered where he was standing - a pink bubbling quicksand.

_Shit_.

Sensing the wetness around his ankles yet again he tried to move his feet again but this time his feet didn't budge and he was moving too quickly inside the puddle. Luckily he was close to the drier edge so he tried to lean towards it. When he landed face-first on what he thought was the dry pink land he faced the horror of sinking into the wet puddle. His hands were buried deeply and by now the puddle had engulfed his knees and half of his face. With only his butt sticking out he was caught in an ugly position. He opened his mouth to cry for help but the quicksand was quick to fill up his mouth. A low groan escaped his mouth as he waited for someone to help him out of his misery.

That's when he felt a pair of hands slip into the back pocket of his jeans. Surprised he began wiggling even more to get rid of the touch which only drilled his body deeper into the puddle. The hands locked around his still exposed waist and began pulling him out.

The stranger finally won the fight against the quicksand as Jooheon lay on the pink cloud, coughing up pink quicksand.

"Thank you," He coughed, spitting pink slimey substances everywhere. "For saving my life."

"Let's get you cleaned up first." The stranger held his wrist and waited for him to get up before they ran on the cloudy road of the pink world. Limbs still shaking from horror and panic Jooheon somehow managed to keep up with the stranger's fast pace.

The stranger allowed him to catch his breath while he checked out the huge hole in front of them.

"Bad news," The stranger pursed his lips revealing two deep craters on either sides of his cheeks. "We have to jump."

"What?" Jooheon stepped forward and peeked into the hole. A river flowed under them which didn't seem too deep at sight. It was almost like a whole new world underneath them. He frowned, mentally calculating the distance between the river bank and the place he was standing in (it was enough to give you a good fracture).

"Uh... I think I'll be more than fine with this gooey thing all over me," Jooheon let out a sarcastic chuckle as he picked on the pink slime all over him. "There's no way I'm gonna-"

He just saw the faint outline of the stranger whizz past him before he heard a "yoohoo" from the world underneath.

"It's okay. Look at me. I made it here in one piece. Jump!" He was standing on the river bank waving at him. If it were as easy as the chestnut haired boy made it seem, Jooheon would've jumped first. But since the very first moments of him being in this realm were disastrous he couldn't help but watch out his every step.

"Come down already!" He cooed, his voice echoing the empty Riverside underneath Jooheon's feet.

And with a heavy heart, he stood at the edge of the hole with his eyes squeezed shut. Crossing his arms around his chest he jumped hoping he'd not have to deal with broken bones next. Strangely enough, he landed on his butt on the pebbles (that almost felt like little chunks of cushions) on the river side.

Without any delay Jooheon took a dive into the water, creating pink waves around him as the pink quicksand dissolved in the water.

"You should have seen the look on your face." The chestnut haired boy burst out in a fit of laughter and tried to imitate the black haired boy.

"Hey I don't know this place too well since forever like you," Offended, he shot back as he came out of the water. To his surprise, the water instantly evaporated completely, even his clothes were dry.

The stranger sat on the pebbles as he waited for the other to accompany him. "No no... I've not been here for that long. I'm just brave I guess?" He shrugged. "Anyway what's your name?"

"I'm Jooheon. Nice to meet you." He stretched his hands for the chestnut haired boy to take. "What's yours?"

"I'm Chsghxncnsmc"

Jooheon winced as his voice changed into a loud static noise and whole began dissolving around him. He gasped and took his hands back in a split second as he watched the boy melt and form a puddle around him just like other things surrounding him.

And slowly the world went blank.

....

"You've been sleeping all this time?" Kihyun hit Jooheon's arm to wake him up as he sat on the chair right next to him. Then it hit him. It was all a dream.

_Strange_.

He blinked a few times before his eyes fell on the damp pages of the diary he had been reading before. He quickly closed it and shoved it in his bag before Kihyun could lay his eyes on it.

Getting caught reading someone's personal diary by his best friend was the last thing on his mind.

"Let's go grab a coffee." He whispered, making sure he didn't disturb the people in the now filled library.


	2. I Like It

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu}_

_2:07---------------❍----------3:59_

_↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺_

_"When the moon rises, it starts,_

_The nights always repeat the same"_

_⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰_

After a long day with Kihyun bragging about how he studied the whole time Jooheon was dozing off in the library, Jooheon threw his bag somewhere in the corner of his bedroom before plopping on his bed, a long sigh leaving his lips as soon as his skin made contact with the cool sheets. It was almost midnight and his head felt like a rock on his neck. He didn't expect a drink with Kihyun after dinner would hurt this much, well here he is, feeling like his head is going to explode at any given second. It started with one bottle of Soju (that's the limit of Jooheon's alcohol tolerance) which they shared, but Kihyun being a heavy drinker took things in his own hands and the rest is history.

The window was already shut so he didn't have to get out of bed to block out the January snow. Removing his jacket and kicking off his shoes he tucked himself in bed, covering himself with the fuzzy blanket before his eyes closed shut automatically.

_...._

The river seemed eerily calm, its soft murmur carried by the cool breeze. The sunset spread hues of pinks and oranges in the sky, its warm undertones providing immense comfort to the eyes of the beholder.

"Aah hyung..." A familiar voice whined in the background, tearing his attention from the picturesque view in front of him. "It's been hours. Use your tongue."

Jooheon turned around, only for his jaw to drop on the ground. The brown haired boy lay on the grass on his back with one of his hands supporting his head and the other hand hacking off dandelions from the ground above his head.

"Speak. Speak. Speak." The boy spat out the words in pure boredom (almost sounding like a cartoon character), not caring if the person he is speaking to is actually listening. He entertained himself by tickling his nose with the dandelions only to inhale a whole lot of the fluffy tassels. A little chuckled escaped Jooheon's mouth as he watched the boy squirm on the ground, erupting into a fit of coughs and sneezes.

"Aren't you..." Jooheon trailed off trying to remember where he saw this guy before.

College canteen? No. Cafe? No. The waiter at the diner? Definitely not. Yes! The bartender he met tonight!

No.

_But he looked familiar._

His eyes lingered in the surroundings. The riverside seemed familiar as well. His head bobbed up to look up at the sky, as if looking for something - more specifically a hole from where they entered this land a few hours ago.

And then it hit him. He saw this in his dream. The boy was in his dream. But he is here again!

Am I dreaming again? Why is the boy here again? Am I dreaming the same dream? There were a lot of different questions popping up in his mind, each of which he wanted to know the answer to but he was clueless. But one thing was for sure - he was continuing the dream where he left it off and it was drilling holes into his conscience because it had never happened before.

The boy stopped coughing and looked at him with his eyes wide open before clinging on to him like a Koala. "Oh hyung... I thought I lost you."

"Hyung?" Jooheon's face twisted in confusion as the younger rested his head on his breastbone while squeezing the living daylights out of him. "I'm older than you? How do you know that?"

"Kinda had the feeling you'd remember nothing when I saw you zoning out." The brown haired boy rolled his eyes before turning away and resting his butt on a rock.

"I zoned out?" He followed suit.

"Hm... We were just getting to know each other, then suddenly you gasped like a damn vacuum cleaner and you've been staring at the river ever since." A quick flashback reminded him of how he woke up to Kihyun's nagging while they were getting to know each other.

"Do you know how bored I was?" The younger was pouting like a baby, which almost made the older feel terrible for waking up.

_Fucking Kihyun._

"What was your name again?"

"Ugh, of course you don't remember!" He threw up his hands. "I'm Changkyun. Changkyun Im. Now come with me before it's too late."

Before his mind could even process the information, Changkyun was dragging him by his wrist for the second time that day.

"There's this cool waterfall that I found while you were busy staring at infinity." His voice strained through the air as they entered the woods. The river still followed them deep inside the woods. After catching a cobweb or two in his mouth, Jooheon finally let out a gasp as they stood near the mouth of the waterfall that was probably a couple of feet above the misty lake beneath. It was the most beautiful scene he has ever witnessed.

_Thank heavens all this running and potentially eating a spider or two wasn't for nothing!_

"Beautiful, ain't it?" Changkyun beamed proudly at his finding. Exhilarated, Jooheon just nodded, taking a few steps to peek at the fuming waterfall below.

"We're gonna jump." The younger simply stated to which Jooheon replied with bulgy eyes which translates to an absolute no.

"That's what you get for ignoring me for over 2 hours." Changkyun pursed his lips before it turned into a smirk. "We're gonna do it together." He stretched out his hand which the older didn't take.

"Oh c'mon hyung it's going to be fun. I promise." Changkyun snaked his hands up the older's torso, sending shivers up his spine due to the sudden touch. "Just trust me."

His legs shook at the thought of jumping off such height but the younger's confidence was strangely enough to keep him calm. Then he remembered that he was just dreaming so he decided to give it a shot.

Together they entered the water, their feet barely staying on the algae covered rocks underneath.

"On the count of three..." Changkyun said, already looking excited as if jumping off a cliff was what he did whenever he got bored.

"One..." Changkyun eliminated the distance between as he snuggled up to the older, chests hunched up together. A rush of adrenaline took over Jooheon's body and mind as he held on tight to the younger's lean body. "Two..."

"Threeeeee!" They said in unison before jumping. They screamed in excitement as they passed through the misty clouds formed by the river water that fell alongside them.

Before their feet touched the lake beneath them, they sucked in a deep breath before separating out. Each of them went deep inside the water before emerging on the surface of the water like corks. It was at this moment that Jooheon thanked the heavens for going to those much dreaded swimming classes his mother would force him to attend when he was younger or he would've been dead meat by now.

Both of them swam to the shore, a satisfactory smile plastered on their faces. Jooheon felt a strange sense of pleasure as the adrenaline trickled down his legs along with the water, his shivering legs now becoming steady and firm again. The raven haired boy was only wiping water off his face when he saw with his poor eyesight, the younger standing on the lake shore with his thin clothes clinging to his body. He gulped as his eyes quickly ran along his back.

_He shouldn't be staring like that at someone but a few seconds won't hurt, right?_

On his specimen like body, it was his butt that stood out the most - upturned and sturdy, yet it looked like the softest thing on the earth. Climbing up to the shore, it took him more than everything to not poke it with a finger and cause an awkward scene. But sadly for him, the incredible scene in front of him quickly changed as the water evaporated from both of their bodies in a split of a second as if they just passed through a huge hairdryer.

"How was it?" Changkyun turned around (which startled the older as he was still checking out his back), before sitting on the grass.

Jooheon looked anywhere else but his face, as if looking into his eyes would give away the fact that he was staring at his bottom all this time. "I nearly lost my life but it was worth it." He finally answered, deep craters forming on his cheeks as his lips curled up.

"Moments ago you would've traded your soul to the devil instead of having to jump." Changkyun laughed.

"You're so brave." The raven haired boy mused, his eyes following the misty line of water all the way up to the top from where they jumped, his heart nearly stopping as his brain registered the distance they covered in a nick of time. The younger just nodded.

"I like it." The words left Jooheon's mouth even before he could permit himself to say that. As soon as the words left his mouth, their eyes met.

Changkyun's cheeks flushed red, the tint so obvious against his pale skin. He was quick to tear his eyes off Jooheon's and stare at the mist created by the water hitting the surface of the lake, a soft and almost inaudible "Thank you" leaving his lips.

Jooheon turned his head to look at the lake as well, his mind still displaying the younger's flushed cheeks instead of the scene in front of him.

_Damn, that boy is attractive as hell_.

"It's getting dark." Jooheon said to distract his mind. "Let's go."

As soon as they started walking back through the woods, a loud static noise (that apparently only Jooheon heard) made him wince before everything went blank.

_...._

Something vibrating in the pocket of his jeans woke him up. Sun rays piercing through the spaces between the curtains hit his eyes as soon as he opened them, making him wince. Though his head still felt heavy, the pain had noticeably subsided.

After fumbling with what seemed to be an old piece of gum and a few café bills, he took out the thing that disturbed his slumber and lazily brought it close to his face, only to distance himself from it when loud noises erupted from its speaker.

"Where are you? Classes start in 15 minutes. I've been waiting here for half an hour now." He could almost see an angry Kihyun waiting for him in the usual spot where they meet up before going to college together.

"Oh shit." After checking the time on the screen, Jooheon bolted upright on the bed, fumbling in the sheets that kept him warm all night long.

After popping himself into the warm shower he quickly dried himself before leaving his house on an empty stomach, hoping he'd make it to the classes on time but more importantly - he hoped Kihyun would go a bit easy on him today.


	3. Sharing Is Caring

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu}_   
_ 2:07---------------❍----------3:59_   
_ ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺_

_"You got me and I got you,_

_Things that we got never flew,_

_Please don’t wake me up in this dream,_

_wait babe I gotta feelin’ you."_

_⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰_

Jooheon was tired and hungover. A throbbing pain had taken over half of his skull which resulted in him not paying attention to the lecture. Kihyun constantly yelling at him for being late wasn't helping either. A part of him wanted to yell back at Kihyun for making him drink 3 extra bottles of Soju last night but he didn't, fearing his head might explode. But then again, Kihyun wasn't the one to stop nagging so easily so he went on about it all throughout the day, and Jooheon silently endured it all until it was their study time. Relieved to not have Kihyun anywhere near him, Jooheon was the happiest he had been today.

Rubbing his temples he took a seat at the far end of the huge library where there were no people. The cheap hangover pills he had bought from the dollar store earlier this morning hadn't reduced his headache a single bit. It only made him dizzy and made it difficult for him to concentrate on his lectures. Rubbing his temples again, his other hand went inside his bag to search for his text book but something familiar touched his skin and it didn't take him long to take it out once he realised what it was. He had not touched the leather covered diary he found yesterday after trying to read it in the library.

He opened it again, flipping through the pages until he saw the bookmark.

_"Dear Silver,_

_Remember the dream I told you about a few days ago? I saw it again but this time I..."_

Before he could complete reading the sentence, his eyes drooped and so did his head. He tried to balance himself on his elbows but couldn't.

_He shouldn't have taken those pills._

The quietness lingering in the library made it even easier for him to fall asleep. His body desperately needed to sleep — he knew it too, so he decided to give himself the much needed rest, lest him having to spend the rest of the day with a throbbing headache. And so he did.

After putting the diary inside, he let his heavy eyelids close.

....

The two walked through the grassland, their feet crushing the base of the long straws of grass that came up till their waists. A blue and white camping tent peeked through the grass as the sun said it's last goodbye while it disappeared into the horizon.

Jooheon rubbed at the goosebumps on his arms as he followed the younger. It was getting colder.

"You can stay with me for tonight," He said, his arms spreading to show the tiny but warm space enclosed by the tent. "Hungry?"

Jooheon nodded, his stomach grumbling at the thought of food.

"Sorry I packed light. Don't expect a full course meal. This is what you'll have to eat tonight." Changkyun handed him a cup of instant noodles.

They sat on the ground, watching the sun set. The reddish orange colour of the sky slowly turned into a pitch black night sky as the sun dipped into the horizon, leaving only the bonfire to give them the much needed warmth and light. After slurping the last few strands of instant noodles, they went back inside.

"So," Jooheon gulped the remaining fluid in the cup before putting it in the trash bag. "Why did you set out into the forest all alone?"

"Just because," He blurted. "College life was taking a toll on me. So I decided to have some 'me time' over the weekend. Out here in the wild. It's going pretty good so far." He made sure to emphasise the last sentence as he nodded, agreeing to himself. His eyes moved around the tiny space between them before fixating it on Jooheon's doe eyes.

The smug look on the younger's face made the older feel shy for some reason; so he cut off the eye contact while nodding. "Relatable."

"What about you? What made you think it was a good idea to mess around in the quicksand?"

"I... Uh..."

_Shit_.

He had not a single idea as to why he was there.

"Same. College is stressful." He lied. He ran his fingers through his jet black hair and tried to look anywhere else but the younger's face. "But I lost my way and..."

Jooheon's mouth hung open in shock as his mind registered how fast he came up with a lie. A perfect one.

"And ended up drowning in a quicksand." The younger finished the sentence for him. "You should thank me for finding you. Now you have your life as well as a roof over your head." The younger one beamed with pride. Jooheon muttered a thank you before the younger stretched his arms out, stifling a yawn. He turned his back to Jooheon as he made his way to the other end of the tent towards a heap of things he brought with him. Still thinking about his newly acquired lying capabilities, Jooheon's eyes lingered around awkwardly for a few seconds before it landed on Changkyun who was unfolding a sleeping bag on the floor.

"Oh no, it's alright. I'll do that myself. Thank you for your hospitality." Jooheon kneeled down on the floor with the younger while grabbing the sleeping bag from him.

Changkyun blinked twice as he watched the older in confusion. "What? It's mine."

_Awkward Silence_.

Jooheon's hands slowly retreated from the warm and fuzzy fabric of the sleeping bag and clasped around his knees. He involuntarily pursed his lips as he sat there staring at nothing particular in front of him, pure embarrassment engulfing his body. At this moment, he was more worried about the awkward situation that just happened than having to sleep on the cold ground in a freezing night.

And then it dawned on the younger. "Shit I only have one."

"It's alright. I'll sleep on the floor." He got up and crossed his arms, hoping the younger wouldn't notice the goosebumps on his skin.

Jooheon had a tough time convincing Changkyun that he'd be alright on the floor because the younger wouldn't stop searching his backpack for something warm. It took them a good fifteen minutes before they settled the matter and switched the lights off, only to the switch it on again when Changkyun caught him shuffling on the floor trying to find a warm spot on the cold ground.

"Hyung, get in." A very annoyed Changkyun wriggled out of his sleeping bag and grabbed the older by his arm that was covered with goosebumps. "We're gonna share it. I'm not letting you sleep like this."

"But it can't accommodate two-"

"Fine." He heaved a sigh before folding up the sleeping bag. "I'll sleep on the ground with you."

"What? No! You don't have to." Jooheon grabbed the sleeping bag from the younger's hands before heaving a sigh in defeat. "Fine. I'll get in."

A smug smirk adorned his face knowing he won. He waited for the older to get inside before he squeezed himself in the tiny space left inside the sleeping bag. Strangely enough, it had enough space for the two of them to toss and turn.

Jooheon sighed in relief as the warm fabric of the sleeping bag rubbed against his cold skin.

"Good night, hyung." Turning his head, Changkyun cooed as he switched off the little lamp.

"Good night, Kyun." And with that he closed his eyes and wished for a peaceful sleep without any insects feasting on his face.

~~~

Sun rays seeped through the thin fabric of the tent, lighting up the inside. Lying on his side, Jooheon wriggled a bit to get his weight off his already numb arm but stopped midway when he felt a body close to him. Too close.

Beside him was Changkyun, sleeping like a baby. Although they slept facing away from each other to avoid any awkward situations, they probably tossed and turned around in their sleep and now the younger's cheek was squished against Jooheon's chest as he exhaled softly.

Jooheon slowly took out his numb arm and stretched it, careful not to disturb the brown haired boy's slumber, but oh boy...

"I haven't slept a wink last night. God! Don't you blow your nose once in a while?" Jooheon sucked in a breath as Changkyun slurred in his sleep, his deep voice dropping an octave or two lower than usual.

_His morning voice is no joke!_

"You snore like a pig. Let me sleep a little longer..." The brown haired boy slurred in his sleep before pulling the older closer and mushing his face further into his chest.

Jooheon froze as he felt the younger's grip tighten around his waist. He was finally able to exhale when his grip slowly began to loosen as he dozed off again. He hasn't been this close to anyone before, especially not a man. But something about it all made it seem like everything is normal.

Snoring has always got him in trouble. It was something that he couldn't control. It just happened everytime and no matter how many times he'd ask Kihyun to let him sleep in the same room for sleep-overs he'd always get a no. It always held him at disadvantage, especially whenever Kihyun would get a little too brave and decide to watch a horror movie.

As the blood started trickling through his veins again, his eyes went for a little field trip — only the field was the sleeping beauty in front of him.

The morning sunlight made Changkyun's skin shine brighter than ever before. The soft yellow hue looked better on his skin than the dim lamp light from the night before; it brought out the little details. His hair was now an absolute mess with clusters of brown hair poking out from here and there. His eyebrows still looked intact as if someone had painted them on. A few pimples stood out on his porcelain skin (hey he's only human), and so did his nose (with all the oil illuminating it under the sunlight).

It was endearing to watch Changkyun's cheeks squished against his chest as he breathed softly. The angle at which he had his head rested on his chest revealed his soft but clear cut jawline. It gleamed under the sunlight.

One of his arms was casually placed on Jooheon's torso. The other crossed across his chest, as if to avoid their chests from meeting. Jooheon noticed one of his fingers twitch as he slept. He couldn't help but crack a smile at a baby-like Changkyun sleeping on his chest.

"Stop staring." The older sucked in a breath when he heard those words.

"I... I wasn't." He didn't even realise when those words left his mouth. He had lied for the second time today.

"You were. I could feel it." He teased as he opened his eyes and moved his head away to look at the older's strange expression.

Jooheon cursed at himself in his head for assuming he slept.

"No I wasn't." He said with a firm tone this time, hoping it covered up his lie.

_Boy oh boy, was he a bad liar._

Changkyun flashed a knowing smile at him before pursing his lips which revealed dimples on either sides of his cheeks. "I hate liars."

Something inside Jooheon shattered when he heard those words.

_Changkyun hates liars. Jooheon had lied._

Jooheon was quick to notice the younger obliviously staring at something behind his head, the skin between his eyebrows forming folds as his eyes started welling up.

"Hey, are you alright?" The raven haired boy cupped the younger's cheek.

"It- it's nothing." Changkyun blinked away his tears and faked a smile as he wriggled out of the bag. The older knew his smile was fake right away.

"I- Okay..." Jooheon bolted up on the ground, still inside the sleeping bag. "I was... I was staring... At you. You- your face."

He wasn't even fully awake and the first thing he did in the morning was embarrass himself and sweat profusely.

Fiddling with his belongings on the other side of the tent, Changkyun turned around and let out a brief lifeless chuckle, acknowledging the older's confession. Without even giving him a second look he rushed outside with a toothbrush in his hand.

Jooheon now knew that he wasn't the only liar he was talking about.

_Something was definitely wrong here._

....

"Oh you're up," Jooheon woke up to Kihyun's hands probing his neck and forehead to check his temperature. "You're still running a fever, man. Let's get you home."

"No. I'll miss my lectures." Jooheon opposed, his weak arms trying to shake off Kihyun's hands tugging at it.

"You've already missed three."

"What?! I missed wha- three lectures? Three?" His eyes flew wide open. His jaw was on the floor when he checked the time on his watch. "And you're telling me this when the classes are over?"

After lashing out at him, Jooheon buried his head in his hands. His headache was still persistent.

"You were running a fever. So I didn't wanna wake you up. Plus you were super exhausted already." He shrugged and placed a hand on top of his head. "Does your head still ache?"

His head still buried in his hands, Jooheon nodded.

"Want me to take you to a hospital?" Kihyun asked, pure concerned obvious in his tone.

"Nah man, take me home. I just want to sleep."


	4. Be Mine

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu}_   
_ 2:07---------------❍----------3:59_   
_ ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺_

_"Every night I search for you in the same dream,_

_I want to stop but I can’t escape it."_

_⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰_

"I think we should go to the hospital. You're burning up like a fucking furnace and all of this is not working." Kihyun said, yeeting a wet washcloth back in the bowl of cool water.

"I'll be alright by tomorrow morning." Jooheon mumbled as he pulled up the sheets till his chin, followed by a yawn right after. "I just want to sleep."

"I'm worried, Joo." Kihyun sighed.

"And I'm sleepy," Jooheon countered. "Now, I'd really appreciate it if you just keep quiet and go to bed as well."

"You're really stubborn, you know that?" Frustrated, Kihyun sighed heavily, anger slowly building up inside him.

"Mhm..." He shifted on the bed, pursing his lips that revealed his dimples that quelched the older's anger.

_He just wanted to sleep... and go to him._

It's crazy how he just met him a few dreams ago and still felt like he's been close friends with him for quite a while. Changkyun was everything he could ask for in a boy. He was his dream boy, well, he literally is.

The first time he dreamt of him, he didn't care much because he thought it was all just a dream and he'd never see a perfect guy like him again, but when he continued to show up in his dreams, he began... falling for him unknowingly.

He would've never thought seeing the younger boy cry would affect him the way it did. A piece of him shattered when he saw his eyes welling up. The more he played the scene in his head, the more his heart ached.

A part of him was relieved to know that he wasn't the exact reason behind his tears. But he knew that he reminded him of something that crushed his heart. Something so dark that broke his walls in seconds and made him weak.

He wanted to know the reason behind his tears. He wanted to comfort him. He wanted to be there for him. Whatever it was, he wanted him to know that it would pass.

"As much as I don't want to, I'll sleep with you tonight since you're not well." Kihyun got inside the duvet, his eyes silently pleading for him to not snore all night long.

"Good luck." Jooheon managed to give him a sleepy smile before Kihyun turned off the lamp, letting the darkness engulf them.

....

Wind strained through their hair as Changkyun sped his Audi Cabriolet on a surprisingly empty highway. The two haven't talked much since morning. Jooheon was too embarrassed to start a conversation and Changkyun was out of sorts. The only thing he said was that he wanted to visit his favourite beach before they headed home. Jooheon knew the younger wasn't being himself. The Changkyun he was familiar with was cheerful and brave — none of it showing through his melancholic mood today. Something had ticked him off and Jooheon wanted to get to the root of it. He was just waiting for the right moment.

"How," Jooheon cleared his throat as quietly as he could before breaking the silence. "How long till we reach there?"

Just when the words left his mouth, the younger pulled over at a parking lot. "We're here." He flashed a forced smile before hopping out.

Things were getting awkward and Jooheon didn't know how to get out of it. Sighing, he followed the younger through the crowd of people clad in skimpy clothes. Indistinct chatter faded as they passed clusters of people. Changkyun kept walking until he reached a quiet and shady place away from the crowd, followed by Jooheon who had already taken off his shirt to take a dip. Soon he deviated from the path and made his way towards the waves.

"You're not coming?" Jooheon turned around only to find the younger sitting on the sand under a palm tree with his legs hunched up to his chest, his arms locking them in a comfortable position.

"I'll pass this time." Changkyun smiled uneasily as he watched the older squint under the direct sunlight. His jet black hair shone so brightly under the sun that it was beginning to blind him. He quickly cut off eye contact when he saw him approaching.

A loud sigh left the older's mouth as he sat down beside him. Jooheon has had enough.

_Time for some real talk._

"Hey," The older licked his lips before taking a deep breath.

"Is something wrong? You've been gloomy since morning."

"It's nothing." The younger swatted the air and let out a forced chuckle, desperately trying to sound normal. He turned his head the other way when he felt the stinging in the corner of his eyes.

"Hey," Jooheon gently pinched the small of his chin before making his head turn to face him. "Look at me."

Changkyun's moist chocolate orbs stared at Jooheon's face for a few microseconds before tears fell out of them like melted wax. That sight was enough for Jooheon's heart to melt into a puddle.

"Hey, you're crying." The older cupped his cheeks as the younger kept sobbing in his hands. "Is it something I did? Tell me what's wrong. Please. I hate to see you like this."

"I was just scared." The brown haired boy managed to say in between sobs, his words muffled by cries he desperately tried to hold in his mouth.

"Of what?" His fingers caressed the younger's wet cheeks. Those tears were shooting daggers at his heart and he wasn't liking it a single bit.

"I just.... I- I thought of him." Changkyun retracted his face from the older's grip to sit straight, grains of sand making unclear patterns on his face as his sandy hands wiped away the tears.

"It's okay. You can tell me everything. I'm all ears."

"Wonho hyung. My ex." A gulp followed the name. Changkyun's eyes shifted from the sea to the people nearby to the sand in a quick attempt to hold back the incoming tears. "He was a nice hyung. Too nice to be real."

"If charms could kill, he'd be a deadly murderer." The words laced with venom flew out of his mouth as he grinded his teeth as if trying to hold himself back from venting his anger.

"The first time I met him at a café after school, he looked like a character straight out of anime. Like an angel. He was so handsome that I found myself back in the café the next day only to find him there too. Seemed like it was his favourite café and it suddenly became mine too. I kept coming back until he came up to me one day and we talked. And those café meetings soon changed to little dates and we started going out together. He was everything I could have ever asked for. He was kind and strong and so very attractive that I honestly had no idea how someone so useless and plain looking like me got to date him."

Oh boy, after hearing the last sentence Jooheon had a very strong urge to disagree and tell him off for even thinking so low of himself but kept his cool.

_At least for now_.

"And then I did the stupidest thing. I imagined us getting married and living a happy life and maybe even adopting a child." Changkyun let out a sarcastic chuckle. "All for what?"

"W-what happened?" A rather weak voice slipped from Jooheon's mouth as he anticipated for the ending.

"He dumped me. In the worst possible way. Well, chuck that. I would've been better off if he had actually dumped me."

An inaudible 'what' escaped Jooheon's mouth but Changkyun was quick to cover the void in the storyline.

"One fine day he came up to me and said his mother who lived in Korea needed an emergency kidney transplant and he needed some money. A lot of money." He said while sniffing. "Now you may think I'm bragging but my family is rich."

'His Audi Cabriolet explains it...' Jooheon thought.

"I emptied all of my pocket money that I saved throughout the years and even asked some from my parents. They were more than happy to help."

"We had a massive vacation planned out for his birthday and we had agreed to spend some time here on my favourite beach before heading to the airport together. He had agreed to it as well. But in the end I found myself sitting right here, staring at wet sandcastles. He never came." He patted the sand around him as his tears created small dark circles in it.

"He stopped answering calls and left my messages on read. I've never heard from him ever since. Then it hit me how he never introduced me to his parents and how he would give excuses when it came to meeting mine. Also in all his mother's photos he has shown me, she was either working in a field or looking extremely normal. The whole relationship wasn't even a year old what was I even thinking?" He helplessly shrugged as tears leaked from his eyes. "He ran away with the rich boy's money along with his heart."

Whoever this Wonho guy was, Jooheon just wanted to punch him hard in the face and destroy his good looks for making his Changkyun feel this way, which in turn made him feel miserable to watch him crying.

"I'm so sorry to hear this." Jooheon gently patted his back, as if he were a doll made of thin glass that could break anytime.

Changkyun turned to face him. "He lied, hyung. He was a liar. When you lied this morning I thought of him. I saw him in you, even though I never wanted to. But his face kept popping up in my head. I was scared that if I got too attached to you too, I might end up hurting myself all over again. I was scared of losing you."

As soon as the last words left his mouth, he quickly covered it with his hands, hoping that doing so would put the words back in his mouth.

Jooheon couldn't move. He was locked in an ugly middle position. He was half hurt and half shocked to hear the younger's confession.

Hurt because he saw Wonho in him and shocked because he said he was scared to lose him even though they just met. His mind was more focused on the latter though.

What if he liked him back? Or maybe his mind was making up things? Or maybe not.

"I'm sorry I-" He stuttered as he began fretting and fiddling with his fingers. "I ruined your mood, didn't I? Jus- just ignore what I said. I'm going for a dip." With that he got up and removed his shirt in one swift movement before running off to the shore, the cold waters welcoming him with a mighty wave. The younger seemed so out of place and well, scared.

No matter what, Jooheon had to tell him that he could trust him, and so he sprung up on his feet.

"Kyun," The cold water sent a shiver down his spine as he approached the younger who was already soaking wet. "Wait."

Wet strands of hair that formed clusters dangled in front of his face as he turned around. A light tint of red was evident in his cheeks as he tried his level best to avoid any eye contact.

Not wasting any time, Jooheon held his hands. The younger's slender fingers felt soft against his palm. Confused, Changkyun faced him but got lost in the older's doe eyes. Even though none of them spoke, Jooheon's eyes did the talking. His gaze was so pure that he could see the love for him in his eyes.

A few intermittent waves crashed on them but they were oblivious. All they could hear was the indistinct chatter of the people in the far corner and the crashing of waves, and the deafening silence between them that spoke words of love and understanding.

"We just met and all I do is think about you. I never thought I'd fall in love again after a girl dumped me for another boy in seventh grade. But here I am... Head over heels for a guy that I just met." A soft smile adorned Jooheon's face as they intertwined their fingers. "They say 'don't go looking after love, it will eventually find you' and guess what? I think they're right. You found me drowning in that disgusting pink gooey shit."

A soft chuckle escaped Changkyun's mouth as the lasts of his tears rolled down his cheeks.

"It pains me to know that you've shed many tears before I met you and it pains me even more to know that asshole is the reason why you were hurting so much. I can see how much he hurt you because it was years ago but it still haunts you. But I'm here now. I'm here to stay. I'll be there for you whenever you need me, I promise."

For once, none of them broke the eye contact.

"Look," Jooheon cupped his face for the second time that day, wiping the last tear that created a stream on his already damp cheek. "I know how hard it has been for you but I can assure you that I'm not like him. I actually care for you. I'm not a monster. I really like you. And as cheesy as it sounds I- I..."

"I love you." They said in unison. Jooheon's voice was firm whereas Changkyun's voice sounded fragile as fresh tears welled up in his eyes; except this time the tears were of happiness and satisfaction.

"Yes." Jooheon whispered as he took the younger's hands and placed it on his bare chest. Changkyun trembled as he cried, the tips of his fingers triggering a rush of Oxytocin in his body as they took the beating of the older's heart as signals.

"Im Changkyun. Be mine?" His voice came out as very gentle, as if talking any louder than this could break him.

Changkyun pursed his lips and nodded. "I love you too, hyung."

Jooheon took a step closer, eliminating the distance between them. A hand snaked around his back as the other snaked up his neck. He moved his face closer and closer until their faces were just millimetres apart.

Changkyun instinctively closed his eyes as his hands moved up to rest on the older's shoulder before their lips crashed. Their surroundings seemed to melt as they enjoyed each other's company in sheer bliss. The sea seemed more calm and they couldn't hear the people anymore. It was just them and the wetness between their lips.

It was all that mattered.

They broke the kiss when they ran out of air in their lungs. Both heaving heavily, smiled at each other as if they had found a purpose to their lives. Jooheon placed a soft peck on his lips one last time before connecting their foreheads together as the sun began to go low.

....

Jooheon woke up to a cold hand pressing against his forehead.

"That's it. We're going to the hospital." Kihyun said and turned to head to the closet in a rush, already regretting not taking him there the night before.

"I'm al-"

"You're NOT alright." The older snapped his fingers at him as he turned back to face him, his face twisted up in anger. "Do you see this?"

He brought out a thermometer that he had stuck in his underarms while he was still sleeping.

"This is not nornal. I can't have you acting like a room heater when we already have one."

"That was a terrible joke." Jooheon chuckled and tossed around to watch the older fish out some clothes.

"I wasn't joking, you dipshit. I'm just fucking worried because 105°F ain't a fucking temperature. We're not dealing with a normal fever anymore." Kihyun shot him a glare before turning to the closet again.

"Alright, alright. Stop shouting. I'll go." He turned again to lay on his back.

He closed his eyes and tried to recollect everything he saw in his dreams. He wasn't surprised that he was feeling extremely elated even though his body ached so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll are probably like "wtf just happened it went from 0 to 100 real quick" but lemme tell you this was a dream and you know how dreams are...
> 
> Crazy and unpredictable.
> 
> Also this book will end with a few more chapters uwu


	5. Spaces Between Us

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu}_   
_ 2:07---------------❍----------3:59_   
_ ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺_

  
_ "The sharp crescent moon,_

  
_ there’s wolf cries in my ears,_

  
_ At the same time it starts again, your voice is searching for me."_

_⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰ _

The first thing Jooheon noticed when he opened his eyes was water all around him. Darkness engulfed him like a blanket. Soon he came to his senses and then it dawned upon him. He was IN the water.

A searing pain exploded in Jooheon's lungs as his eyes searched for light underwater. Instinctively, he kicked his arms and legs until his body popped up on the surface of the water like a cork. He inhaled deeply and looked around.

The clouds grumbled above him and the waves started to become wilder, as if proclaiming the coming of a mighty storm. He noticed people wrapping up their things before leaving the beach in a rush. Forgotten empty plastic buckets strolled the shores, guided by the wind which was slowly picking up speed.

The weather was changing in a drastic way within seconds and it left a lump in the pit of his stomach. Jooheon wasn't very fond of storms. It had always put him in a melancholic mood which would have a lasting effect on his activity throughout the whole day.

He was standing on the exact spot in the sea where he had kissed Changkyun in his last dream. The only difference — Changkyun wasn't there.

_How long has he been in the water?_

_Did he leave?_

A quick look around answered his question. His fancy car was still parked where it had been parked before. It stood there lonely as other cars whizzed past it.

_Changkyun wouldn't be far away..._

Jooheon began walking out of the water, whose waves were becoming wilder as a faint lightning shook the ocean somewhere far away from the shore.

"Changkyun!" He called out, hoping the younger would listen and come back to him.

_But he didn't._

The air got colder, Jooheon couldn't help but wrap his arms around his bare chest to try and keep the warmth to himself. The rumbling sky displayed its anger again as another lightning struck, this time somewhere near. Near enough for him to see and fear for his life. Consequently, a wave, bigger and wilder than before came crashing down the shore, almost touching Jooheon's feet as he walked in search of his love.

"Changkyun, where are you?" His voice was a mix of desperation and melancholy.

And as if life had decided to punish him, it began raining.

What started as a light pitter-patter, quickly changed into a stormy rain. Heavy drops of water fell on his face, forcing him to squint. He ran with an arm propped up to protect his eyes from the piercing water drops, his lips still calling out his name.

Through the parting of his fingers he saw a faint silhouette of a shanty and his legs took off in a sprint, as if he was being chased by lions.

Perhaps that's where Changkyun is.

Jooheon wiped the water away from his eyes as he stood in front of the door. His hand turned the knob and he took a few small and hesitant steps inside the dark room.

"Changkyun?" He was answered by his own voice as it echoed off the walls of the dark room.

_Thud_.

Jooheon's heart skipped a beat as he turned around to find himself locked up in the dark room all by himself. Deafening silence engulfed him. He could no longer hear the storm outside. The only thing he could hear was his heart pounding loudly against his chest.

It was starting to become a nightmare.

"Chang-" The lights suddenly came on, just like in the horror movies he used to watch with Kihyun and he choked on his own spit when he saw a mirror maze in front of him. What seemed like a million mirrors in front of him reflected endless images of his body. It looked just like the ones in the carnivals he used to visit with his family when he was younger, the only difference is that the mirrors back then used to show a short and excited Jooheon and now it showed a grown up and scared Jooheon. He didn't know which one he liked more.

Taking a step back, he tried turning the knob again but to no avail. He was stuck in the room all by himself.

"Hyung, is that you?" A muffled voice was heard that made him turn his head back and take a step forward.

"Changkyun where are you?"

"I'm right here. I can't find the way out."

"Stay right there and keep speaking so I know where you are." Jooheon took a deep breath before moving in. A million Jooheons moved along with him, some moving in different directions and some merging to form a single distorted reflection. It almost made him dizzy but he had to carry on.

"Why did you come here, out of all the places?"

"Thought this was a restroom and got lost." The younger chuckled sheepishly and the older smiled as he visualised it in his head.

Jooheon let his instincts and experiences guide him as he moved further into the maze. The two of them kept talking gibberish to keep track of each other. A good fifteen minutes had passed when they noticed that they could hear each other clearly now, as if they were just a mirror apart.

Jooheon turned around a corner, and there he was, the love of his life in all his glory, smiling so fondly at him as he walked up to him.

"Come here, don't you ever leave me like that." Jooheon spread his arms open as he walked up to the younger but he was soon let down as he felt something between them just before they hugged.

They were separated by a glass. A rather thick glass.

"Hyung," The younger fretted as he pounded on the thick glass with his fists. "Why is there a glass between us?"

Jooheon looked around himself to find something to pound at the glass but couldn't find anything.

"Hyung, what is this? What's going on? Get me out." Creases formed between the younger's eyebrows as his fists pounded at the glass which seemed to grow stronger by each punch.

"Don't worry I'll get you out." Jooheon showered the glass with a few punches and an occasional kick but nothing budged.

"Hyung, let's break the glass. I wanna go to you." The younger kicked the glass with all his might and a small but clear crack was created. The two of them exchanged joyous smiles as they silently celebrated the first step towards each other. It was enough of a motivation for Jooheon to muster all his strength and go off at the glass with inhumane strength and speed. Both of them pounded at the glass with all their might.

Crack by crack, the glass was now visibly frail and became translucent like frosted glass. Jooheon could only see traces of Changkyun's brown hair and the faint and blurred outline of his body.

It was just a matter of one kick.

"Go back." Jooheon directed and the younger was quick to follow.

Jooheon mustered up all his strength and exhaled deeply as he walked back.

_One last kick._

Charging at the glass in full speed, Jooheon used all his body weight to break the glass and it worked as he fell at the younger's feet, shards of glass raining on him just microseconds later.

Changkyun squatted down and greeted him with a warm smile as they hugged each other so tightly that they could hear their clavicles crack.

Jooheon pulled away from the hug to place a kiss on the younger's lips. That's when he saw the look on his face — a hollow smile, as if he was trying hide something. The raven haired boy held the younger by his shoulders as concern filled his mind.

"What happened?" Before the younger could answer, he saw it.

A huge piece of glass stuck on the right side of his abdomen. Blood rushed out of the wound, creating a crimson puddle on the white tiles. The older's brain went haywire at the sight.

"No no no no..." His shivering hands pulled out the shard of glass and tried to apply pressure on the wound.

"Help! Somebody help!" Jooheon cried out but nobody heard.

The younger became weaker as more blood gushed out. He could no longer keep himself propped up so he fell on the older's lap, a doll-like smile still plastered on his face that grew paler with every passing second.

"Stay with me. We're going to get you out of here. I promise." Jooheon promised but considering where they were, they both knew getting help was a far cry and time was ticking away.

_Changkyun would be gone anytime now._

With the last of his life slipping out of him, Changkyun managed to bring a hand up to Jooheon's face and gently caressed his cheeks. His smile faded into a painful frown. "I love you, hyung."

"Please don't do this to me..."

"S-say it back."

With his bloody hands, Jooheon guided the younger's frail and cold hands to his lips and kissed it. "I love you more than love itself." He manged to say in between sobs and wails. A satisfactory smile appeared on the younger's face as his hands fell to his side.

"Please stay..." Jooheon sobbed as he helplessly watched his beloved go.

....

"He has been sleeping a lot lately..." Jooheon woke up to Kihyun's voice murmuring at the end of the room.

"Must be stress and fatigue. It's common in youngsters." The doctor replied in a soft voice.

Jooheon was awake.

His eyes shot open and all he could remember was his beloved's face twisted up in pain as he breathed his last.

"Noooooo!" Overcome by pain and grief, Jooheon bolted upright on his bed, his chest heaving. Without a second thought he ripped the tubes off his hands, not caring if he had ripped his skin off with it. Before he could get off the bed, the doctor and some nurses in the room held him back. "NOOOOO!"

"Hey, it's just a nightmare. It's okay. Calm down." Kihyun rushed to his side and caressed his forehead. Turning to the doctor and nurses he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. He's like that sometimes."

"Hey, I'm here." Kihyun assured him with a few pats on his cheeks. It was enough to bring him back to his senses. When the nurses had gone outside to get new tubes and syringes, Kihyun asked. "Do you wanna tell me what you saw?"

'He wouldn't believe it.' Jooheon thought. 'If I tell him that I kept on seeing the same dream again and again and fell in love with the boy of my dreams, he would never believe it.'

"Nothing." Jooheon sniffed and smiled. "Just stepped on a lego."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P. S. The story didn't end here. Stay tuned to read more. I'm thinking of ending this story in 3-4 more chapters. Don't forget to comment on this work and lmk what you think. It means a lot to me. Thank you!


	6. Long Time No See

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu}_   
_ 2:07---------------❍----------3:59_   
_ ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺_

_"I burn in this moment,_

_Can’t ever wake from this dream."_

_⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰_

Jooheon had only spent one night at the hospital. The fever was quick to run down, leaving him with common cold as a mark of it conquering his immune system once. But one thing from that night never left him — the dream.

Knowing how crazy his dreams are (Changkyun's death was crazy enough), Jooheon had gone to sleep the next day hoping he'd dream of his love resurrecting somehow; but instead he only saw him dying in his arms; again. The same dream continued to haunt him whenever he slept, which gave way to sleepless nights.

A month had passed, a part of him wanted to forget everything that happened in his dreams, and even forget Changkyun, but he had a feeling somewhere in his heart that he saw those dreams for a reason. He believed he saw those dreams because fate had something in store for him. He believed a Changkyun existed in real life and he saw those dreams for them to meet in real life, and so he let it bother him.

He would often find himself staring at crowds, his eyes desperately searching for Changkyun's face somewhere. He even started working part-time as a cashier at a café even though he didn't have to. He hoped Changkyun would come in for a shot of espresso someday.

Sometimes he would question Changkyun's existence. He'd curse at himself for being so foolish and naive to search for someone from his dreams and then he'd spend a chunk of his earnings from the café to gulp down endless shots of espressos and black coffee instead of alcohol (he remembers well what went down the last time he got drunk).

Sometimes all the coffee in his system would betray him and he'd fall asleep, only to see his beloved bleeding again. That dream was like an itch you can't seem to locate.

Whenever he felt like his body needed rest he cried himself to sleep, knowing that he'd have to see it again. And so he'd fall asleep and silently endure the torture.

There was a sudden drop in Jooheon's mood since the fever and it was a matter of concern for Kihyun. "College is taking a toll on me", was Jooheon's answer everytime Kihyun interrogated him and he was forced to accept it. Sometimes he'd want to tell Kihyun everything and ask for his help to find Changkyun but fearing he wouldn't believe his story, he'd keep mum. Kihyun would often take him to a club, hoping "he would find some joy" there but instead he'd spend his time scanning faces and exploring every quiet corners to find him.

Jooheon couldn't find anyone at the club, but Kihyun sure did.

Kihyun was wasted and kept shouting at the bartender to keep supplying him with shots but wouldn't agree to pay for it. The bartender was none other than Hyunwoo, who he has been dating for five months now. Who knew someone would find a drunk Kihyun so endearing?

And since Jooheon is working at a café after classes now, Kihyun had found another good reason to go to the club almost every night after college to spend some time with Hyunwoo since they don't get to go out on dates because he has strict working hours.

It scared Jooheon at first, considering how much of a heavy drinker Kihyun is, but Hyunwoo has promised to keep him away from drinks and to take care of him and he seems pretty trustworthy so now he had one less thing to worry about.

The other thing is his troublesome daydreaming habits. It almost got him fired in his first week because he was busy daydreaming about Changkyun and gave a customer three extra dollar bills instead of coins while giving change.

Most of the time Jooheon would be seen sitting idly or daydreaming in his two hour shift, because not many people come in to get coffee after 6 pm. But not today. His head was buried in his books since finals were coming up soon.

Jooheon had just flipped a page over when his phone vibrated in the pocket of his jeans. It was Hyunwoo. With a quick swipe he answered the call.

"Hey," Hyunwoo was shouting through the booming stereos of the club. "Kihyun's hammered."

"What? Already?" Jooheon glanced at his watch. "It isn't even 8 pm."

_Shift is about to be over. Time to go home!_

A sigh escaped his lips. "Look man, we agreed on this. Him going to the club everyday to spend time with you is okay but you letting him get drunk is not okay. You promised you'd look after him!"

"I know, I'm sorry. He started talking about how he's finding it hard to understand you nowadays and he was very sad. Then he started acting all cute to get me to sneak in a shot for him. And the rest is history..."

Jooheon could only sigh. Once a drop of alcohol touches his tongue he goes feral for more until he gets totally wasted and he was very familiar with it so he couldn't blame Hyunwoo anymore.

"I'm taking him home. I'll drop him off at college tomorrow so don't wait for him. Just called to let you know."

"Okay."

"And hey," Just before he could hang up, Hyunwoo called for his attention. "I've never seen him this devastated before. Is there something going on? You can tell me everything, you know..."

"Uhh... It's alright, hyung. I'm good. Thanks for asking. Good night."

Shoving his phone back into his pocket he waited for the clock to strike eight before getting up to change into his normal (and comfortable) clothes again. He ordered himself an iced coffee for takeaway and exchanged smiles with the girl who took his place at the reception and walked out the door.

He heard the tiny door bell chime behind him as he sipped the cold fluid, the coffee particles activating his taste buds. He had just turned a corner to head to the parking lot when a stranger whooshed past him, filling the air with a scent he was too familiar with. The scent of home. He stopped in his tracks and heard that person's footsteps halt as well and even before he could turn his head, he heard a voice.

"Hyung?" He was too familiar with that deep voice. He has been searching for him for over six months now and here he is, finally.

_Changkyun is here._

_It's Changkyun._

For once in a long time, Jooheon's insides were filled with a new vigour. Without wasting a second he swiftly turned around on his heels.

_It isn't Changkyun._

His heart sunk. But as his eyes adjusted to the dim street light, it jumped right back up when he saw someone he wasn't expecting.

Kim Taehyung. 1/2 of his best friends from the middle school he used to go to in Daegu. They haven't seen each other since Jooheon moved to America for attending high school.

_It's been a long time._

"It really is you, hyung!" Taehyung beamed while pulling the hoodie off his head. "You haven't changed a bit."

"I missed you a lot, kid." He clasped his hands around his waist as they hugged after a very long time. Jooheon nuzzled ever so slightly into his clothes that smelled like the gardens of Daegu. Overwhelmed by nostalgia, a chuckle left his lips. Jooheon could still see in him that cheerful little kid that always sang trot in the school corridors to impress girls. The only difference was his voice that dropped a couple of octaves since he last saw him.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Jooheon almost choked on his own spit as he broke from the hug. He couldn't control his emotions. He had missed him so much. This was probably the happiest he has been in a whole year.

"Wanna talk over some coffee?" He said, pointing to the café Jooheon just exited.

"What about coffee at my place?" Jooheon raised the cup in his hand and went closer. Bringing his hand up to his mouth, he pretended to tell him a secret. "Their coffee tastes like nothing and that's probably why no one visits that place. Trust me, I work there."

Taehyung's lips formed an "o" shape before turning into a smirk that matched Jooheon's. "Alright then!"

....

Taehyung lovingly stared at the little pout on Jooheon's face as he carefully brewed coffee, making sure he didn't spill it all over the counter. His eyes were quick to notice the dark circles under his eyes which were more evident under the bright lights of his home.

"Be careful. It's hot." Jooheon placed two mugs of hot coffee on the table.

"Hyung, have you not been sleeping?" Taehyung asked while pulling his mug closer to himself, his voice laced with pure concern.

"Had to pull a couple of all-nighters. Law isn't easy." He smiled weakly as he stared into his mug as if it held all his secrets.

Taehyung hummed in agreement.

"I thought you'd turn to music though. You were so popular back in the day."

Flashbacks of him, Taehyung and Yoongi — or more popularly known as "Peanut, Butter and Jelly" (yes, an absurd group name, give them a break they were just kids) — performing at their school and local functions made his lips involuntarily twist up into a smile. Yoongi was the Peanut, his rapping skills were hard to beat. Taehyung's soulful and melodious voice made him the Butter. Jooheon the Jelly was known for his versatile voice that could spit bars and also present honey vocals. Despite their comical group name, they were a huge hit among girls as well as the elders.

"Guess my parents had a different plan for me." Jooheon sighed, his mind playing flashbacks of him arguing with his parents to let him pursue music. Shaking away his thoughts he smiled. "Enough about me. What about you?"

"I'm taking baby steps towards becoming a singer. Yoongi hyung is releasing an album this week. I'm featuring on one of his tracks." He smiled to himself while he watched the hot fluid swirl inside his mug.

"Yoongi?" Jooheon's ears perked up. "Our Min Yoongi?"

"Wow. You're really lost here." Taehyung scoffed sarcastically.

"We haven't seen each other in years. Remember? Fill me in about everything."

Taehyung carefully placed his mug on the table before leaning in. "So, Yoongi hyung took the hard way out and moved to Seoul around a year ago and worked on his first album all by himself. He self released his album. People loved the tracks and when they came to know how much of hardwork was put into the making of his album, it blew up. Even A-listed celebrities congratulated him. Now he's huge in Korea. Everyone is looking forward to his next album which is set to release this Friday."

"I always knew he would make it big someday." Jooheon mused.

"You know what, I hadn't talked to him since he left because he was always busy. I thought he made other best friends and forgot that I existed but when I received a call a few months ago, I couldn't contain the excitement. Can you believe my voice is going to be on his album?" His deep voice was tuned into an unnatural squeak as his fingers dug into Jooheon's arms.

"I'm so happy for you." He smiled to cover up the tiniest pang of envy that creeped up his heart, not because his best friends are now a successful artist but because his parents had always supported his love for music. If only his parents supported him the way Yoongi's parents did... but now he's stuck with things he doesn't give two fucks about.

"After you left, he was kinda derailed for a good half a year. He never talked to anyone else other than me. You leaving left an obvious void between us. Words can't express how much we missed you. And now I'm talking to you after all these years. It feels surreal."

"It's not like I died or something." Jooheon chuckled, finishing the last of his coffee.

"Oh!" Taehyung's eyes lit up as he snapped his fingers. "Yoongi hyung is hosting a party for his album release this Friday and that's why I flew all the way from Korea to New York. You should come. He'll be on cloud nine after seeing you."

He was dying to meet him. Oh, how he missed his old pals!

"You got extra tickets?" Jooheon banged his hands on the table and leaned in, only expecting a yes.

"I never thought I would say this but thank got my brother is down with fever. You get to take his place!"

And just like that happiness in the form of vile screams and hugs erupted in the room.

"Meet me at my hotel room this Friday at 6 pm. I'll text you the address. Don't forget." Taehyung said as he wiped a tiny tear that leaked out from the corner of his eye.

"I most certainly won't." Jooheon beamed.


	7. Meet Me In The Hallway

__

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu} _

_2:07---------------❍----------3:59_

_↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺_

_"When I lost you, my everything,_

_My regrets created the fantasy,_

_It lures me in and, _

_makes me distant from you."_

_⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰_

_T/W: blood, motor accident _

A sigh of relief left Jooheon's mouth as the professor left the classroom, marking the end of college hours. Students left the classroom in herds, pushing and shoving each other to get out of the crammed classroom first. Jooheon might have gotten his stomach elbowed quite a few times but he was now very used to it. 

"Wanna go to the club with me tonight?" Kihyun nudged at the end of his ribs as soon as they separated from the crowd. "It's Friday night! Let's party, baby!" 

"Nah, I have plans."

"It's okay. I'll wait till you finish your shift." 

"Other plans." He corrected. 

Kihyun stopped in his tracks and lifted one of his eyebrows, signalling him to explain. Jooheon went about, telling him how he had a chance meeting with his childhood best friend yesterday and all the discussions that went down between the two of them. 

"The party sounds grand." Kihyun mused, a tiny hint of jealousy in his voice probably because he wasn't invited. He quickly raised a finger up in his face and Jooheon moved his face back, startled at the sudden movement. "But don't get all dressed up and handsome. There might be people all prepared to get in your pants. You have to be careful."

"Oh... Just like Hyunwoo got into yours last night?" Jooheon leaned in to unveil a fresh and dark hickey on his neck, craftily hidden by the collar of his shirt. 

Kihyun gulped his saliva in embarrassment as the blood rose to his head. "This morning." His mouth opened to correct him, and his mind instantly began to curse at himself for letting out unnecessary details. 

"Gross. Anyway, see you tomorrow." Jooheon's hand landed on his shoulder in a firm pat, a smug smile plastered across his face as he watched his best friend's face go beet red. 

"B-but that's different. He's my boyfriend." Kihyun's mouth opened a little too late in his defence. Jooheon was already running off. Pulling his collar back to it's position, Kihyun wondered what enhanced his observation skills all of a sudden. A few months ago he couldn't even notice if someone entered the room. "See you later." He said, even though Jooheon was nowhere to be seen. 

....

Jooheon fixed his tuxedo he last wore for his high school graduation. It's old but still fits him well after three years. He tucked his backpack under the table so nobody sees it and mistakes him for a school kid. He had to leave for Taehyung's apartment right after college and they helped each other get ready before they entered the Limousine personally sent to all the guests by Yoongi which gave them a ride to this party. He had planned to leave by bus as soon as the function ends. And as for his shift at the café, he had bailed his way out by paying the girl working after him $30 dollars to cover for him. 

He glanced at the celebrities he grew up watching on television chit-chatting in perfect little circles in their pretty party dresses as he waited for Yoongi to arrive at his own party. "Typical celebrity behaviour", he thought. But Yoongi had every right to act like that. He had worked his way up to where he is now. 

Jooheon had listened to his first album with Taehyung in his car while they drove here. They were so mind-blowing that he even doubted that his best friend from Daegu who once licked a bath bomb to know what it tastes like wrote such deep songs. 

Jooheon had happily agreed to meet his old friend out of excitement, but he didn't know if the feeling was mutual. He anxiously looked around the fancy five-star hotel and let the band's soft jazz music soothe his panicking mind. 

What if he didn't recognise him? What if he had erased him from his memory? What if he ignores him? What if he's still mad at him for leaving them behind? A lot of what-ifs ravaged his mind. 

As if sensing his anxiousness, Taehyung hung his arms around the older's shoulders and pulled him closer. "Don't worry, hyung. I bet it'll be a pleasant surprise for Yoongi hyung too. He'll be over the moon, trust me. He has missed you so much." 

Jooheon just smiled, but it soon faded away as he heard a commotion near the door. Camera lights started flashing, sending his eyes into a blinking fit. The paparazzi nearly toppled on the ground to get a good picture of him. A few seconds later, Yoongi appeared, guarded by bouncers twice his size. 

He's physically tiny, but of great social value. 

He shook hands with some celebrities before getting on the stage. The spotlight is on him now, and Jooheon could swear he heard Taehyung squealing beside him like a fanboy at a concert. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have gathered here to celebrate the release of my second studio album The Lost Get Found which comes out in ten seconds. I've worked very hard on this so hope you all enjoy it. Everyone, the countdown begins!" His voice has become deeper, Jooheon notices, but his body is still as tiny as he was before. 

Everybody joins in, their voices tuning into shouts and excited screams with every passing number and when it finally reaches zero it rains confetti on them. Jooheon releases a breath he didn't think he was holding. 

"The Lost Get Found is now available on all major music streaming sites and your nearest music stores. Don't forget to get yourselves a copy." 

Everyone raised a toast for the new album before Yoongi grabbed everyone's attention again by tapping on the mic. "I have another huge announcement to do."

Everyone falls silent and looks at the tiny man eagerly until he opens his mouth and the whole hall goes nuts, gasping and screaming in unison. "In the honour of the release of my second album, may I present to you, my own company, The Lost Get Found Entertainment! With the help of my staff, I hope to bring to you all the diamonds in the rough, all polished and prepared to create a whirl in the entertainment industry. Hopefully, our entertainment will put out amazing artists you all can count on." Jooheon is the first one to clap this time, each clap filled with pride, shortly followed by the others. 

"He's a CEO now!" Taehyung's eyes nearly come out of his skulls while he tugs at his sleeves. 

"Thank you for coming. The tracks from The Lost Get Found will be played shortly." With that, Yoongi exited the stage as the paparazzi kept shoving their telescope-like cameras in his face. 

Jooheon's chest puffed up in pride as he watched his famous friend talk to other celebrities, him swirling his glass of wine like people in the movies do. 

Just then the first song plays through the speakers, it's the song in which Taehyung features. "It's me!" Taehyung practically jumps like a child and Jooheon has to hold him down before the security kick them out for questionable behaviour. 

His melodious voice sails through the air and the room fills with ooh-aahs. Jooheon hugs him and congratulates him on his milestone. While Yoongi is still away, they both grab a glass of wine and drink. 

As they listen to the songs being played, there's one verse in a song that hit him the hardest. 

_"After all the hardships, _

_Dream, your beginnings will seem humble, _

_So prosperous will your future be." _

Jooheon's mouth opened in awe. Yoongi is an amazing song writer. Those lyrics pulled a string in his heart and he almost cried but was saved from the public humiliation as Taehyung pulled his arms just in time. "He's coming."

Jooheon sucked in a breath as he watched Yoongi look around for more people to interact with and when his eyes finally landed on him he freezed for a second. 

"What if he doesn't want me here?", Jooheon thought but his thoughts were soon put to rest as Yoongi scooted towards him and hugged him without even greeting him. His hug was so tight that Jooheon could swear he heard his clavicle crack. He could feel Yoongi's smile on his shoulders as he hugged him back, probably a little harder than Yoongi did. 

"I missed you so much." Yoongi said. His eyes were moist but he had managed to keep himself composed. 

"Not more than me." Jooheon replied. 

"I don't believe this. It's been so long and to see you here tonight.... I must have done something really good." 

"You released your second album." A smug expression adorns Jooheon's face as an impressed Yoongi clicks his tongue at his witty response.

"Congratulations on the release and becoming a CEO." Jooheon offers a hand and Yoongi gladly takes it. "Thank you."

"I was listening to your other album on the way. Man, you're so awesome!" 

"Sometimes you just gotta let out your emotions. Keep them in for long and they'll eat you alive." 

"Um... Guys," Taehyung is quick to butt in. "I get that you two are meeting for the first time after so long, but let me just make it clear. I do exist."

"Come here you little shit." Yoongi locked Taehyung's head in his arms and they playfully tackled each other and Jooheon watched them endearingly. On the outside, Yoongi is a celebrity but on the inside he's still the same old Yoongi he was friends with. 

"Let's all grab a drink." Yoongi announced and they all settle on the huge plush sofa in the corner of the room with their glasses of champagne. They talked, sometimes reminiscing their past and sometimes talking about their future plans. Sometimes they laughed like maniacs and sometimes they were on the verge of ugly crying. They talked away, making up for all the years they've been living apart. 

All the fun comes to an end when Yoongi's manager shows up after the songs are over. Yoongi then goes up on the stage and officially wraps up the listening party after thanking everyone for coming. The whole party barely lasted for an hour but they felt like they've spent a lifetime here, talking. The halls slowly gets empty as people leave one by one. 

"I would've loved to call you both over to my place but I have an interview early in the morning tomorrow. I need my beauty sleep." Yoongi walks up to his Limousine, his tall bodyguards waiting for him to get in. 

"No worries. We'll meet later." Jooheon chuckled. 

"I come to New York very often, so maybe we'll bump into each other sometime soon." Yoongi smiled. "Oh wait, I almost forgot. We should exchange numbers."

Jooheon took out his phone in a microsecond but groaned when he realized that his phone is dead. "I'll jot it down on one of my notebooks."

His hands went inside his bag and took out whatever book it could find but he was quick to realise the book he took out wasn't his. It was the diary he had found in the library a few months ago. He couldn't write in someone else's book so his hand went in again to search for another one. After they exchanged numbers, they did a group hug. They waved at Yoongi one last time as he rode away in his car. 

Now it was time for Taehyung to go. His Limousine was quick to come as soon as Yoongi's left. "Good night. See you later." Taehyung hugged Jooheon one last time beford he took off in his car. 

Jooheon was the only one left. He stared at the diary in his hands. He couldn't believe he completely forgot that it was still with him. A sudden feeling of guilt poked at his heart as he stared at it's leather cover. What if it's owner has been searching for it this whole time? 

He felt foolish for keeping it with himself for so long so he made a quick decision to drop it off back in the library where he had originally found it. He looked at the time displayed on his watch. It was a little over 8 pm and from what he knew, the library isn't closed until 9 pm. He had to be quick so he ran to the nearest bus station. It didn't take long for the bus to come and since it was the time most office-goers would go back home, the bus was stuffed so he had to stand. The ride was only fifteen minutes long and once he reached his destination, he squeezed his way out of the crowded bus. The air seemed cooler than before. 

Walking up the road, he could see the well-lit library from afar. Little dots of people moved about inside the room. Taking out the diary, he stared at it for some time, the streetlights giving its leather surface a golden shimmer. 

"Should I turn it over to the librarian?" Jooheon thought. But then his mind decided against it as it has been with him for so long that she might accuse him of stealing it. So he decided to walk in like he needed to issue a book and sneakily keep it back on the table where he had found it.

The roads were lonely with only a few people walking past him and the ones who did wouldn't stop staring at him. It was bound to happen because who would wear a tuxedo and pair it with a backpack. So he took off the tuxedo and ripped the bow-tie off his collar and stuffed it inside his backpack. 

Running a hand through his ruffled up hair, he began fast pacing. He hoped to make it on time before the librarian stopped allowing people in. A glance at his watch made him run, little beads of sweat forming on his temples. His head turned left and right in a quick movement as he prepared to cross a road. And as if fate wanted to deliberately bring an end to his life he fell right in the middle of the road, stumbling on a tiny rock he had not seen until he was lying on the road on his face. Thank God it wasn't a busy road and there weren't any cars in sight. The palms of his hands burned in pain because they had worked hard in saving his face from crashing on the rough asphalt. It didn't take him long to realise that the diary was missing. It had flown out of his hands and landed a few metres away from him. 

Just then a stranger walking by noticed him lying on the ground and decided to help him. 

"Are you okay?" The stranger asked, but Jooheon was too busy looking at his bruised palms that stinged. 

"Thank you. I'm fine." Jooheon smiled as he was being helped up by the stranger in a hoodie, his voice laced with slight embarrassment. He began patting away the dirt on his clothes as the stranger swooped down to get the diary and his backpack that had fell off his shoulder. 

"Isn't this mine?" Jooheon froze as the stranger examined the handwriting on the diary that lay open on the ground. He turned the pages to the very first one and ran his finger under the calligraphic letters. "It indeed is mine. I've been looking for it for months."

Jooheon froze, his knees wobbly at the sudden encounter with the owner of the diary. What was he supposed to tell him? That he found it in the library one day and decided to keep it? Keep his personal diary? 

"I-i found it. I found it some days ago... I-in the library..." Jooheon gulped. He couldn't find words. "I thought it was a book so I accidentally issued it." He finally blurted out a clumsy lie and immediately facepalmed himself mentally for it. If he was going to lie he should've at least come up with a better one. 

_Who would ACCIDENTALLY issue someone's personal diary? _

"I was looking for it for so long!" The stranger finally stood up, apparently not fazed by his story. Even though the stranger's face was covered by his hoodie, you could tell his eyes were roaming all over the diary. Probably he was too happy looking at his prized possession that he had lost and finally found tonight. 

"Sorry." It was all that came out of Jooheon's mouth, his body still frozen. 

The stranger finally lifted up his head but Jooheon's nervous self was looking anywhere else but his face. 

"Hyung?" The stranger's voice turned into a soft and curious tone. Thinking why a stranger would call him hyung, Jooheon turned his head to look at him and when his eyes landed on his face, all the blood drained from his head. 

_Im Changkyun_. 

It was the Im Changkyun from his dreams. Same eyes, same long nose, same tiny lips, same voice. He couldn't be mistaken. It was him. It really was him. A stream of tears left his eyes without his permission but now he didn't care, even if he was crying in public. All he could see was his face. After all these months of hopelessly searching for him, he had finally found Changkyun in the most unexpected way. 

"Changkyun-ah," Jooheon started, his hands coming up to cup the younger's face. Even though he didn't want his eyes to look anywhere else but his love's face, the glowing yellow light creeping up besides them at a fast pace distracted him. Realization hit him as quickly as the light grew in intensity. 

It was a car, and it was coming right at them.

"Nooooo!" Jooheon screamed as he tried to get them away from it's way. 

_Just too little too late. _

Jooheon made it to the safe side but unfortunately for Changkyun tonight proved to be fatal. The car came at a lightning speed and sent him flying in the air. 

Everything seemed to slow down, as if time had decided to torture him a little bit more. The car screeched to a sudden halt and Jooheon watched in horror as the younger flipped in the air and finally landed on the bonnet of the car with a loud thud, sending shards of glass flying up in the air. His mind went blank, but he could still hear distant gasps and screams of people and their approaching footsteps. 

"No no no no...." Legs wobbly, he somehow managed to make his way towards the car on which Changkyun lay unconscious, half of his face covered with his blood that glistened under the dull streetlights. 

"Someone please call 911!" Jooheon called out to no one in particular, his voice all strained because of the lump in his throat. His phone was dead and there was no use of fishing it out of his pocket in this time. 

His shivering hands patted the younger's face, desperately begging him to open his eyes but he wasn't responding. Just then the door opened and the driver stumbled out, not really fazed by the disaster he had caused. 

"Sorry ma'am," The man slurred, his eyes barely open but his eyes were trying to focus on Jooheon. "I accidentally hit your cat. I hope it's alright."

_He was drunk_. 

Jooheon wanted to dropkick him right then and there but decided it was best to ignore him for now. More and more people began crowding up around them and Changkyun was still unconscious. Soon he heard the siren blaring from a distance. 

"Is your cat dead?" The man leaned into Jooheon's face, his breath reeking of cheap alcohol. 

Having had enough, Jooheon grabbed him by his collar. "I don't know about him but you sure will be if you don't shut the fuck up, mister." He said through gritted teeth. 

Jooheon could've almost killed him just by staring down at him but fortunately for the man, some people from the crowd came to his rescue. It didn't take long for the cops to get him in their car even though he resisted with all his drunken might. 

Jooheon watched as the paramedics carefully pulled Changkyun out of the wreck and onto a clean white stretcher which was soon coloured a bright crimson by his blood. Jooheon followed them to the ambulance where they stopped him at the entrance. 

"How are you related to the patient?" 

He didn't hesitate a single bit when he opened his mouth which got him the permission to enter.

"His boyfriend." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was probably the longest chapter and the most bland one ksksk I'm sorry I wrote it when I was blocked because I want to finish this book in a few weeks. I'll edit it later.
> 
> Anyway, only two/three chapters left!!!
> 
> See ya'll later!


	8. Chapter 8

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu} _  
1:22---------------❍----------3:59  
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺

_"This may be really a prophetic dream."_

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jooheon stares at the white tiles of the hallway and wonders how many prayers they must have heard as he sits on a red bench outside the Operation Theatre. He wasn't really a believer but tonight, for the first time he prayed to whichever God that had their ears open at this time of night.

"He broke his bones at several sites and is suffering from brain haemorrhage. His condition is very critical. We're trying our best." The doctor's voice echoes in his head. The words had hit him hard, almost as if he got shot right in his heart. He tries not to look at the stubborn dry traces of Changkyun's blood between the creases of his palms which wouldn't seem to go no matter how many times he washed them. The crimson stain stared back at him and he could almost hear them mocking.

His muscles were stiff from sitting on an iron chair for too long for the interrogation (since he was the prime witness). The doctors had already begun operating on Changkyun by the time he watched the cops putting the drunkard in temporary lock up. The case was paused until the victim's close kin verdict was heard. A few of Changkyun's friends were already present when he came back.

"How do you know Changkyun? Haven't met you before." One of them had asked and Jooheon had told him the words that came to his mouth first. "I'm his friend. We met on Facebook."

He wasn't surprised anymore when it seemed like they had bought it. He was a terrible liar but he knew very well he was getting better at it.

They told him that his parents had already boarded their flight from Korea and are supposed to arrive tomorrow.

It's past midnight, some of Changkyun's friends have already left and the remaining three are all bunched up on each other, snoring away peacefully on the other bench, but Jooheon is wide awake. Partly because his mind keeps on torturing him by playing the ghastly memories from earlier tonight over and over again and partly because he was sure he wouldn't be able to handle the pain when he'll dream of him dying when he falls asleep.

He shakes his head, hoping that by doing so he would get rid of them. But they keep coming back, the screams and the noises intensifying each time it plays. Burying his face in his hands, he wipes away the beads of sweat that had formed on his forehead. A hand gently lands on his shoulder, a soft startled gasp escaping his lips.

It's Kihyun. "Hey..."

Jooheon had let him know about the incident from a local phone booth since his phone was dead. "Hey." He shifts on the bench to make space for Kihyun and his boyfriend.

"How are you feeling now?" Kihyun runs his hand through Jooheon's damp hair, trying to spread comfort. His sharp eyes are quick to notice Jooheon's puffy eyes, an obvious sign of him shedding tears. It hurts him a lot to see his best friend like this. He looked so bright a few hours ago, happy to meet his old friends; but now he looks exhausted and defeated, almost as if he has lost all hopes of having his friend back.

"Terrible." Jooheon finally mumbles and his chin began vibrating right after as he tries not to have a breakdown again.

"Hey, it's not your fault." Hyunwoo pats his back in a slow, rhythmic motion as Kihyun scoops his head into the curve of his neck. A searing pain thrashes his heart as he sobs into the collar of Kihyun's shirt.

Jooheon had begun to hate himself for not being able to save him on time. Everytime he closed his eyes he prayed to God to turn back time so he'd save him this time, but when he would open his eyes he was hit by the harsh reality.

_Time doesn't go back. Changkyun cannot be saved. _

"There's a lot we need to talk about but I'm not gonna ask you anything now." Kihyun was slightly disappointed at him for not telling him anything about his new friend. He had no idea that a Changkyun even existed. Jooheon has never brought up his name in their conversations. Now he was pretty sure that Changkyun was the reason behind the sudden change in his behaviour lately.

He runs his fingers through his hair in circular motions, this time making sure to cover the whole scalp while doing so and it seems to have done its magic as Jooheon's sobs have now reduced to occasional sniffs. "Your friend will recover soon."

"Here, have some water. You look exhausted." Jooheon doesn't even realise when Hyunwoo gets up from his place to get him a glass of water. He is right. His throat is dry. After all this commotion and interrogation Jooheon had almost forgot that his body needs to be taken care of. He thanks him before taking a sip.

It's 2am.

The clock keeps ticking and the doctors are still inside, fixing him up. Jooheon tries his best not to fall asleep, even though his eyelids droop down occasionally demanding the much needed sleep. He's too dangerously close to losing Changkyun in real life, he knows his heart won't take all the bloodshed and heartbreak anymore. He has to remain awake to keep himself sane.

Kihyun has his head rested on his arm that is propped up on the armrest, eyes closed but Jooheon knows he's still partly awake.

Meanwhile, Hyunwoo has given in to sleep. His work hours are very long and Jooheon is pretty sure he'll have to go to work tomorrow despite his much deserved rest being wasted dozing off in an uncomfortable position at a place other than home. Jooheon had told them to head back to their respective homes but they wanted to stay until the doctor updated them on Changkyun's condition.

_Tick tock... Tick tock... _

It's 4am.

Jooheon groggily opens his eyes to the sound of a stretcher being wheeled across the hallway. He didn't realise when he had slipped into sleep, and for the first time he had no recollection of a terrible nightmare, the one that troubled him every night. In fact, he didn't dream at all.

_Strange_.

Does this mean the last dream was more of a vision? Now that he doesn't dream of it anymore, does it mean the dream is fulfilled? Does it mean Changkyun will die like he died in his dream?

He gasps a little louder than he intended at the last thought. He looks around in case he woke up anyone, but they're all sleeping peacefully, their necks and backs straining in ugly positions.

His thoughts are forced to a full stop and so are the others' sleep when the door flies open and a few doctors and nurses walk out.

"Is the patient's boyfriend present here?" One of the nurse calls out while her eyeballs scan every faces in the room.

Jooheon springs up before his mind can even register the words. He just wants to know if Changkyun could make it. "I'm right here."

"The doctor will meet you in a minute." She says and disappears into the operation theatre.

Jooheon tries to ignore all the shocked faces in the room. "I shouldn't have lied." He thinks.

Was he lying, though?

_"Hyung?"_ Why did he call him hyung when they've never met before? He vividly remembers the growing smile on the younger's face when he called him by his name, the fondness clearly showing through his eyes. It was as if he knew him too.

_"Isn't this mine? It indeed is mine. I've been looking for it for months!" _

Flashbacks by flashbacks, he tried connecting the dots in his head.

_"CKI"_ Written on the very first page.

_"12th January 2019,_

_Dear Silver, _

_Remember the dream I told you about a few days ago? I saw it again but this time I-"_ It had read.

_The diary_.

Perhaps it has the answer to all of his questions. He recollects how he would never get to read anymore than that because he'd fall asleep. He is feeling sleepy right now, but his curiosity shoved it away. He had to get to the root of it even if it meant sacrificing his sleep.

Meanwhile, confusion erupts in the room in the form of questions that Jooheon couldn't answer.

"This Facebook guy is his boyfriend?! He never told us." He can hear the murmurs between Changkyun's friends, a hint of betrayal clear in their tone.

"He's your boyfriend?" Kihyun whisper-screams as Jooheon fishes the diary out of his backpack. It almost looks like his eyes are ready to pop out of his eye sockets. He tries not to make an eye contact with him. Jooheon wasn't ready for all the explanation that was expected from him, at least not now.

All heads turn to the door when it creaks open again, but this time the doctor comes out, shoving his mask inside the pocket of his coat.

"How's he?" Jooheon dashes to his side, hands suddenly shaking from anticipation. He brings the diary close to his chest, securing it from falling. From the way the doctor makes faces, it's clear that it's going to be bad news.

"His body is responding to the treatment." A faint smile cracks on his face. He feels like half of the weight on his heart has been lifted when he heard those words but the weights are quick to be back when the doctor began speaking further. "But his condition is still critical. I'm afraid he's slipping into comatose. He lost a lot of blood from his brain."

"What?" His knees feel wobbly, and just when he thought he'd collapse, Hyunwoo had wrapped his arms around his back for support.

"People usually come out of comatose but it depends on the damage. In the case of Mr. Im," The doctor's gaze turns to the floor. "His brain has gone through a lot of trauma. But don't worry, we're trying our best. Hopefully, he will be up within a few weeks, if not then I'm afraid the period of unconsciousness might extend along a few years."

He feels Kihyun's hands rubbing along his back in comforting strokes.

"Ca-can I see him?" Jooheon asks through the growing lump in his throat.

"Yes, you can." He turns to others in the room. "Nobody else. The environment inside is very sensitive."

Jooheon smiles politely at the doctor through his tears and thanks him for his persistent efforts before he enters the room. He takes careful footsteps into the room, making sure his feet doesn't tap loudly against the floor. It's a different kind of quiet in here. Beeps from the machines fill the room, accompanied by the shallow breathing coming from Changkyun. Something in his stomach drops as his eyes finally land on Changkyun's body and the streams of tears show up again for the nth time this day.

One of his legs and both of his arms are covered in a thick layer of plaster. A whole lot of tubes are connected to his body, too many in number and it's making it very uncomfortable for Jooheon to look at him. There are little stitches on his face here and there and a longer one that goes way above his hairline, and they've shaved away a lot of hair from his head to accommodate the stitches. In short, the Changkyun he saw earlier tonight isn't the Changkyun he's looking at now.

"Hey...." He lets out a shaky breath as one of his hands move to touch Changkyun's hands. It's cold to the touch and almost seems lifeless and it scared the living daylight out of him. If it weren't for the machines beeping, he would've thought he was dead.

"Changkyun-ah I'm here." He absentmindedly traces eights into his skin, as if doing it would wake him up. He pulls up a chair beside his bed and sits on it. "Please wake up soon so I can finally see you smile properly."

"You know me right? I'm Jooheon. I guess you do." He smiles lifelessly, as his hand ghosts above his head where a fresh stitch keeps his scalp together.

"I have a lot of questions and I think your diary might have the answers." He keeps speaking, as if he's hearing everything he says.

"Do you mind if I read it?" He asks and imagines him nodding before opening the diary and turning the page to where the bookmark rests.

_"12th January 2019,_

_Dear Silver, _

_Remember the dream I told you about a few days ago? I saw it again but this time I-"_ This was where he'd usually fall asleep but tonight, he didn't.

"...but this time I saw this guy drowning in a quicksand." Jooheon draws in a sharp breath as he reads the sentence again. His eyes weren't playing tricks on him. It was real, written with blue ink. "I saved him just in time. Even though he was covered in pink slime, I've never seen a man so fine."

He chokes on his own spit as he rereads the lines. It is strangely similar to his dream. Intrigued, he keeps on reading and to his shock, he finds that everything written on his diary is exactly what Jooheon dreamt of, except, it was all written in Changkyun's point of view. This could only mean one thing.

_Changkyun had dreamt of Jooheon just like Jooheon had dreamt of Changkyun. _

It was around 5 in the morning when he finished reading Changkyun's overly detailed diary entries about his dreams. By that time, Changkyun's friends, Hyunwoo and Kihyun were already headed home. Kihyun had offered to stay with him but Jooheon sent him home, he shouldn't miss his classes. Once he finished reading the last sentence, he slapped himself to know if this was just another dream, but the searing pain in his cheeks said otherwise.

_Changkyun had recognised him because he dreamt of him too._

Jooheon's face was a mess because of his non-stop crying but he was the least concerned about it. All he knew was Changkyun knew he existed and he felt little buds of happiness blooming in his valley of sadness.

"Changkyun, baby," His fingers trace his band-aid covered cheeks. "You're so strong. Please wake up soon. I'll take you to the annual fireworks show and we'll watch it together."

....

  
Days had passed, Changkyun was still as unconscious as he was 3 weeks ago. There was no sign of movement at all and it was alarming to an extent because according to the doctor, that'd mean he'd remain in comatose for a prolonged period of time or even for the rest of his life and it was in no way acceptable for Jooheon. He wanted him to wake up and spend time with him, go to the movies, have candlelight dinner in fancy restaurants, play video games all night long, just do the stuff normally boyfriends do.

Changkyun's parents had arrived shortly before noon the day after the accident occurred. They were so devastated after seeing their son lying unconscious on the hospital bed that it took Jooheon and Kihyun a lifetime to convince them to eat something.

Jooheon had offered them his place to stay, and they had agreed to it solely because he was their child's boyfriend. Initially, they were shocked at this revelation because Changkyun was never a "social" child.

Over time, Jooheon and Changkyun's parents had gotten closer. A lot closer. In fact, he even felt that their presence was comforting. It was as if they had filled a void in his chest which was created by homesickness. Initially, Jooheon wasn't so sure about how they would react when they come to know how he's related to their child but now here he is, being treated like a son-in-law.

"Jooheon-ah!"

"Yes, mom?" His voice comes out strained as he crouches to tie his shoelaces.

"Breakfast is ready!"

"Sangah, you could've prepared something light for him to eat on his way. Don't you see he's running late for college?" Changkyun's dad says while folding up the newspaper and keeping it on the table.

Hastily grabbing his backpack by its straps Jooheon dashes to the living room, where Changkyun's mum has already begun plating the food, almost spilling all of his books on the floor in the process.

"Don't blame her, dad. She was at the hospital all night long." He places a kiss on her temple and fixes a pancake between his teeth. "See you later."

"Run before Kihyun sets fire to your butt." Changkyun's dad hugs him and laughs heartily into his ears.

Pushing the door ajar, he runs towards the car that keeps honking. He mumbles a sorry to the driver who is none other than Kihyun, who gives him a death glare while revving up the engine of the car he borrowed from his ever-loving boyfriend, Hyunwoo. The day goes by quickly and Jooheon is more than relieved to be back outside. Buying two cups of iced coffee from the café he stopped working at three weeks ago, he enters the car again from where they drive to the hospital.

They enter the room to the sound of the oxygen machine. Changkyun had been transferred from the ICU to the visiting room as soon as the doctors confirmed that he was healing at a fast pace.

"Changkyun-ah your favourite hyungs are here! Look what I bought you." Jooheon shakes a bunch of white roses he bought on the way above his closed eyelids. "Your favourite!"

Kihyun snatches it from his hands before all the petals wither from all the shaking. He replaces the old and by now, brown roses with the new ones as Jooheon rests his butt on the tiny space on the edge of his bed. His eyes scan his face, every feature of it lying dormant like they have been for the past month. His fingers move up to Changkyun's head which have now begun to grow hair, down to his tiny mouth where his stubble gently pricks the pad of his fingers. It's tempting, so tempting. A part of him wants to steal a kiss but he soon dismisses the idea because it would be inappropriate and wrong on his part. Instead, he goes for the cheek and he can see from his peripheral vision, Kihyun turning his head to the other side.

"Wake up soon, buddy." He whispers on his skin, leaning in to place another kiss right on the corner of his lips, just to quench his desire a little bit. And one more on his nose, and another on his forehead.

"Wake up." He whispers as his hand snakes down the younger's plaster covered arms to intertwine their fingers and when their palms finally meet, Jooheon thinks he saw Changkyun's eyeballs move under his closed eyelids.

"Kihyun," He has his eyes wide open. "I think he just moved his eyes."

"How strong was your coffee that it made you hallucinate?" He giggles from the other end of the room, still tending to the bunch of flowers in the vase.

"I'm dead serious, you idiot!" Jooheon yells, even though he knows he shouldn't and Kihyun's laughter dies as soon as his mind registers the seriousness in his tone.

"Still fighting over this morning?" Changkyun's dad enters the room holding huge bags of dinner enough for four people.

"H-he moved his eyes..."

The bags fall from his hand and his wife takes it as a cue to push him aside and reach their son first.

"What did you do?" Sangah asks, her gaze not faltering from her son's face, desperately looking for some action.

"I k-kissed him." He blurts out, his heart racing.

"Kiss him." Changkyun's dad deadpans, but it sounds more like an order.

"Huh?"

"Kiss him again, you fool!"

Jooheon obliges as all eyes in the room watch him lean down. He stops and bites down the embarrassment that comes from knowing he has eyes on him and takes a deep breath before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Wake up." He whispers against his cold cheek but there's no response.

He can hear everyone releasing their breaths they've been holding.

"Kiss him on the lips." Sangah says.

"What?" He chokes on his own spit and places a hand on his chest while blinking away the sudden formation of tears. "This isn't a Disney fairytale." 

"How hard is it to kiss your boyfriend? Haven't you kissed him before?" Changkyun's dad sounds like he's whining, annoyance clear in his tone.

"Do it." Kihyun orders. "For him."

All the protesting tendencies in him dies down when he hears the last sentence. _For him_. He looks at Kihyun's face for a few seconds before diving in again. Kihyun looks like he's about to witness Disney movies come alive.

He gulps as his face hovers right above his face, their noses brushing against each other. He lowers himself just a tad bit more and their lips crash. It feels strange and so not romantic, kissing someone while they're asleep. He scoffs in his mind at how Disney movies make it look so easy.

He kisses him softly, making sure he doesn't go out of his way kissing him (even though it's very temping, now that he has tasted his lips) while his parents watch him kiss their son. He decides to end it with a subtle pull at his lower lip but even before he can bring himself to do it, he feels a set of hands pushing his body away.

He catches his breath, staggering back and taking a few steps to maintain his balance. His eyes widen when he sees Changkyun sitting upright on the bed. The room fills with inhuman cries as Changkyun's parents take turns in hugging their son.

Kihyun has his hand covering his mouth while he slides down the wall, eyes shot open as if he just saw a ghost. Jooheon is struggling to stomach what he just saw and experienced. A knock on the door snatched his attention.

"Here to check the vitals." The nurse announces but as soon as her eyes fall on the boy, she traces her way right back. "Doctor!"

"Mom, dad, what's all this?" Changkyun tugs at tubes connected to his body, his voice strained from not using his vocal chords for so long. "Where am I? What is this place? What happened to my legs?" He runs his cold fingers over the thick cast that support his fractured bones. His parents caress his face, promising him that they'll tell him everything once he calms down. Jooheon just stands there with his hands stuffed in the pocket of his jeans, watching the events unfurl in front of him, not knowing where to start.

Jooheon sucks in an urgent breath when Changkyun's restless eyeballs finally land on him. "Hey..."

He squints at him, not quite able to put his finger on how he knows this dimpled guy.

"Who's this guy?" Changkyun turns to his mother and suddenly the room falls silent. Jooheon feels like a sword just thrashed through his chest, making it difficult for him to breathe. The air thickens around them as Changkyun waits for an answer his mother is finding it difficult to give. "Son, he's-"

She's interrupted by a loud sarcastic chuckle escaping Jooheon's mouth. "I'm stupid." He shakes his head, a waning sarcastic smile still persistent on his lips.

Changkyun's parents look at each other in disbelief and the air thickens even more. Jooheon is scared he'll bust his lungs if he stays in the room for longer and so he dashes towards the door.

Changkyun tries hard to focus on the face that exited the room just now. He knows for a fact that the man who just left is someone important, someone very close to him, only if his consciousness helped him in realizing who it was...

He's sure he's seen him somewhere.

_Somewhere..._

Jooheon vainly tries to hold back the tears that have already begun to roll down his face as he walks down the long hallway hastily with Kihyun trailing right behind him. "Hey, that was rude."

Jooheon just sniffs in response, telling his heart to hold on. Maybe he was overreacting, but he had no control over his feelings anymore.

"You should give him some time." Kihyun is almost running, his short legs finding it hard to keep up with Jooheon's long ones. "Remember, the doctor said it's okay for people that just woke up from a coma to have memory loss. He'll regain his memories soon."

"What memories?" He turns around a little to vigorously that has Kihyun flinching. Kihyun sucks in a breath as he watches the never-seen-before angry side of Jooheon, his voice booming across the hallway. "What's there to remember when nothing ever happened?"

Kihyun's face twists up in pure and absolute confusion as he watches his best friend vent out his frustration, eyes glistening and nose flaring. He looks miserable, frustrated, heartbroken, sad and angry all at the same time and Kihyun wonders if it is even possible by a human to show all these emotions at once.

"Everything happened, hyung." A familiar deep voice calls out from behind and both of them turn around. "I remember everything."

It's Changkyun.

He's holding on to the door frame for support as he leans against it, one of his able legs holding the entire weight of his body. His parents are right behind him, begging him to fall right back on bed since his broken bones are yet to heal but he isn't fazed by any of it. The more Changkyun looks at Jooheon, the harder it gets for him to just stand there. He can't handle the distance anymore.

He feels a magnetic pull tug at his body and he doesn't even realize when his feet move, the cast on his legs slippery against the cold marble tiles. He wavers as his feet take a few clumsy steps forward, hands positioned parallel to the ground so as to keep himself balanced but it soon falters as his plastered foot slips and he lands on the ground, his face spared a smash by his hands that supported his fall. The cast around his hands had cracked from the impact and his parents were turning purple at the sight. He felt a searing pain shoot up his arms but he wasn't concerned about it at all. "I remember everything, hyung. I remember everything now."

Jooheon dashes to his side and lands on his knees to help him up. "Hey, careful there." He carefully takes his body into his arms but Changkyun stops him by placing his hands on his forearm. Their eyes meet, each set of orbs glistening with tears. Jooheon notices Changkyun's chin vibrating as he finds words to speak.

"You stuck in the quicksand, us jumping off the cliff, the only sleeping bag we shared, the sea..." He takes a moment to catch his breath. "Our first kiss... I remember everything."

Kihyun and Changkyun's parents exchange confused glances but their faces are still bright with a loving smile. They have no idea what they're talking about but they're happy for them from the bottom of their hearts.

"You remember." A relieved smile adorns Jooheon's face as he runs a hand through the growing hair on his head before leaning in to make their foreheads meet. They're too close for two people who are properly meeting for the first time but they don't care. All they know is they finally have each other and that's all that matters.

"I left no stone unturned to find you and when I finally did you were gone. Do you know how scared I was?" Jooheon mumbles against his face.

A chuckle escapes the younger's lips, his breath fanning against Jooheon's lips and a shiver runs down his spine. Longing, pining, Jooheon has suffered them for long enough. Now that his love was finally in his arms, he felt content. He felt complete.

Jooheon runs his fingers up his neck and stops under his chin before lifting his face up for him to look at. Changkyun looks even more beautiful in person. He runs his finger along the side of his face while they lock eyes and now it seems like it's only them in the room. Nothing else exists. Just the two of them in each other's arms, living their dreams. "Im Changkyun..."

He responds with a soft hum, almost sounding like a melody to his ears.

"Be mine?" Jooheon smiles, showing off the deep craters in his cheeks, the dimples Changkyun has always loved and tonight his smile seemed therapeutic as it made him ignore the pain in his arms caused by the fall.

"I'm yours." He replies, mind replaying a now vivid flashback of the dream he had almost a year ago, where Jooheon asked him the same question.

Changkyun feels Jooheon's hand coiling around his back tighter than before as he pulls him closer, chests huddled against each other while Jooheon brings him to sit on his lap so that he's in a comfortable position now.

"I love you, hyung." Changkyun smiles while he wraps his arms around his neck.

"I love you too." Jooheon whispers as he leans in to crash his lips with Changkyun's. For a moment they forget everything. They forget that they're being watched by Changkyun's parents, they forget that they're kissing in public while sitting on the floor. Everything around them melts as their lips move in perfect sync. Jooheon snakes his hand up his collarbone and when his fingers finally clasp the back of his neck he begins to kiss him hungrily, like it's all he wants to do for the rest of his life.

"Woah, guys! Calm down. This is not the right time and place to fire up like this." Kihyun interrupts their passionate kiss. His face is beet red from having to see the extreme public display of affection. When they finally break the kiss, Changkyun shyly bites his lower lip and sinks into Jooheon's chest. On the other hand, Changkyun's parents are pretending to look somewhere else when they know they've been watching it all this time and Jooheon tries to bite down a shy chuckle.

_Everything has fallen back into place. They feel complete. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a cliché ending sorry
> 
> Anyway just one more chapter left and this book ends. Last chapter lezzgo!


	9. Secret

_{Lost in the Dream - Monsta X ¦ The Connect: Dejavu} _   
_ 1:22---------------❍----------3:59_   
_ ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺_

_"It’s okay if I sink in you and die, _   
_ Will you fill me with your breath"_

_⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰_

  
"Aah! It's a beautiful night," Jooheon stretches his arms out while stifling a yawn as he steps out of the car, the cold almost-midnight air of the park hitting his face and turning his features stone cold. "Last night of 2019."

He instinctively draws his arms back as he feels a set of hands locking his torso from behind. "It's going to be New Year soon, hyung." Jooheon is sure he can see the younger's dimpled face even though he isn't facing him.

A clap startles them from their short-lived cute moment and they turned around to face the other couple. "The countdown is about to start!" Kihyun calls out as he clings on to Hyunwoo's bulky arm.

The two couples had decided to spend the New Years together since holidays like these are the only time they'd all be together. Although a park isn't an ideal place to spend the first day of the New Year in, they surely didn't want to stay indoors even if it meant facing the winter wind and to their surprise, they weren't the only ones spending the night here. A few steps, and they were now standing near a bunch of people, everyone waiting for the countdown to reach digit numbers. But they didn't have to wait as long as the crowd did because the moment they reached the spot it was already one minute until New Year.

"I'm so excited," Changkyun bounces on his toes, squeezing Jooheon's hand who nervously glances at the sky, anticipating the ghastly sounds of fireworks. "Don't worry hyung, I promise it won't be that loud. You can hug me and listen to my heartbeat instead." Changkyun winks and a smile blooms on Jooheon's face.

"Why are you so cute?" His cold fingers reach out to pinch the younger's cheeks and he groans in response to the cold touch. They are interrupted for the second time tonight when they hear a whole lot of hootings from the crowd of people around them.

"It's about time!" Jooheon takes the younger's hand, squeezing it in excitement.

"Ten!" The crowd are on their feet and are now staring intently at the sky. "Nine!"

Through his peripheral vision, Changkyun can see Kihyun and Hyunwoo lost in their own world as they scream out the numbers enthusiastically. It's their first New Years together as well.

"Eight!" Changkyun's eyes are now trained on Jooheon who is also busy chanting the numbers. He looks happy and Changkyun cannot help but smile.

It took him some time to remember Jooheon that night, two months ago. It was a strange feeling he felt when he saw a hurt Jooheon walk out of the room — the feeling when you know you've seen a person before, but they still seem like a complete stranger. It's like an itch you can't seem to locate and that's what exactly Changkyun felt that night sitting on the hospital bed after waking up from a deep sleep, groggy eyed and his mind a haywire.

He had closed his eyes and mustered all his newly regained consciousness to search for Jooheon's face in the vast tract of his memories and when he still couldn't remember anything, he gave up and tried to feel instead.

Strong eyebrows... Doe eyes... A short but sharp nose... Dimpled round cheeks... Cherry lips... The same lips he kissed the day they confessed their love for each other. The kiss that told him he was loved, and that he wasn't alone anymore. He could almost taste the salty ocean water in his mouth from their first kiss. And then he heard the echoes of the very familiar voice, almost sounding like music to his ears.

And then it clicked.

Slowly, piece by piece he put the puzzle together and finally he could remember everything. He felt like he was missing a huge part of him. He felt like a hollow body with the feelings inside him crashing like tidal waves, sending him swaying towards the older. It was magnetic, a pull on his heart, gently guiding him nearer to the person he once remembered clearly. It tugged at him like the moon tugs at the tide, forcing him to take steps towards the centre of attraction. He had felt lifeless until they kissed that night, sealing their love for each other between them.

Like Jooheon, Changkyun too had searched for Jooheon everywhere he went, he searched for him in every nook and corner of the streets, every faces, until one day he forgot his diary in a public library and since then never saw it. And as if fate had decided to play with his life, he met the love of his life, the man of his dreams with HIS diary out of all the other things in the weirdest encounter ever and his life has changed ever since.

Jooheon had volunteered to take care of Changkyun after his parents headed back to Korea, often bringing Kihyun along with him. He'd always bring him the tastiest street food and roses and Changkyun was the happiest, the most content man on this planet.

He finds himself to be more happy nowadays — away from college stress and tucked into Jooheon's arms whenever possible. Often Jooheon would visit his apartment and they'd spend movie nights together and cuddle each other to sleep or he would visit Jooheon after his classes. Sometimes they'd go out to the movies and fancy restaurants and the other times they'd reminisce their prophetic dreams together.

"Seven! Six! Five!" Changkyun shudders at the hand that creeps up his back and rests at the small of his waist. He watches as a smile works it's way on Jooheon's face and as if it's a chain reaction, Changkyun's face lights up with a fond smile too. "Four! Three!"

Jooheon turns his head to face Changkyun and finds the younger staring at him like he's the most precious diamond ever and he cannot help but winden his smile. Changkyun's eyes flicker as the older cards his slender fingers through his hair, tracing a familiar path. "I'm so happy to have the chance to spend the new year with you. Happy New Year, babe."

"Two! One! Zerooo! Happy New Year!" The crowd screams on tops of their lungs but they are too oblivious, lost in their own world.

"Happy New Year, hyung." His minty breath fans on Jooheon's nose and he cannot help but lean in for more, something more intimate. And so he does. Pulling the younger by his waist by one of his hands, his other hand snakes around his neck as he presses his lips on Changkyun's.

The first firework lights up the sky, spreading a spectrum of colours in the pitch black atmosphere and it brings along a thunderous sound with it which makes Jooheon jump on his feet even before they can open their mouths to kiss properly. Embarrassed, he buries his head in the curve of Changkyun's neck as they chuckle at his scared self. A few more firecrackers follow, the whole atmosphere booming with the sound of crackers and Jooheon has to hug the younger a little tighter to feel safe.

"I bet Wonho hyung was a better kisser." Changkyun challenges and Jooheon's head immediately springs up, his eyebrows cocking up in defence and he can't hear the booming voice of the fireworks through his hurt pride anymore.

"You mean that imaginary ex of yours?" Changkyun hums, teasing the older, watching his expressions as it changes into a scowl. "Alright then, go kiss your ex that doesn't even exist." Jooheon backs away with his hands up in the air, a mischievous smile adorning his face knowing the younger would come right back to him.

And as expected Changkyun runs to him and flails his arms around Jooheon's neck, pulling his face closer so that their foreheads are now linked. "Hyung... We both know nothing in those dreams were real except us and our love for each other. Now kiss me." Changkyun tells himself the last sentence didn't just come out as a desperate whine but the tone of his voice clearly says otherwise. Jooheon gets the hint of it too and he is just as desperate, so he dives in without any further delay.

Lips crash and they manoeuvre their lips against each other until Jooheon decides to get bold and introduces his tongue in the game. A single lick on his lower lip is enough for the younger to part his lips so that the older can explore the depths of his mouth. His tongue probes around the realm, gaining little moans and gasps from the younger and he swears it makes him feel like he was the best kisser in the whole world.

"See, I'm better than your Wonho hyung." He murmurs into the kiss and Changkyun cannot help but break the kiss to smack his chest. "Did my boyfriend just get jealous of my imaginary ex?"

"I'm not jealous!" He shrugs, his eyes bulging out into a puppy-like innocence which Changkyun knows is just a trick to lure him back to the kiss and it works as he boops the older's nose before placing another peck on his lips. "You know, hyung... You're so cute when you're jealous."

"I swear to God I'm not jealous!"

"Of course you're not." Changkyun huffs, his voice reeking of sarcasm. He giggles as he watches Jooheon's shoulders slouch before he sighs in defeat.

"Woah!" Changkyun points at the sky when he spots the biggest explosion of the night lighting up the sky like the sun. "That's so beautiful."

"Just like you..." Jooheon winks.

"That was smooth..." Changkyun acknowledges.

"If only your Wonho hyung did this...." Jooheon whistles idly as he turns around to face the crowd, gaining a swat from the younger on his shoulder blades.

"Hyung," Changkyun whines as he hugs him from the back and rests his chin on the older's wide shoulder. "Stop. It's New Year and we're already bickering."

"Bickering couples stay together for longer." Jooheon nods at his own thought.

"Says who?"

"Who did you hear it from?"

"You." Changkyun blurts out matter-of-factly.

"Exactly! Me. Lee Jooheon the great."

And that is enough for Jooheon to get swatted for the third time tonight.

.... 

  
Kihyun's hand reaches for his shot of Soju for the nth time tonight as he chews on the pork belly cooked to perfection by Hyunwoo. They weren't expecting any of the restaurants to be open at 1am on January 1st but this particular busy Korean restaurant proved them wrong and here they are, downing all sorts of savoury food. Jooheon swats his hand away from the glass, sending him an annoyed glance. "You already have too much alcohol in your system. It's enough."

"Are you jealous because you can't hold your alcohol for more than one bottle?" Kihyun furrows his brows and locks eyes with Jooheon and Changkyun tries his best not to laugh. Kihyun was already starting to sound slurry.

Jooheon watches as Kihyun tips his chopsticks on the table and uses it as an anchor to get up. "I wanna drink more. It's my birthright." He says a little too loudly as he dramatically holds his chopsticks up in his raised fist.

"Eat up." Hyunwoo carefully places two pieces of freshly seared pork belly in Changkyun's bowl of rice before turning around to pull his drunk boyfriend down to sit before he can cause any commotion.

"Alright, drink as much as you want. Just don't create a scene." Hyunwoo places his shot of Soju in front of him and he happily gulps it down.

"You're spoiling him." Jooheon sighs as he stuffs a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

"Yes he is, and you don't. That's why I love him more." Kihyun places a kiss on Hyunwoo's buff arm before clinging onto it like a Koala.

"Yeah whatever." Annoyed, Jooheon rolls his eyes and stuffs another spoonful of rice into his mouth.

"He's fully hammered." Changkyun giggles as he chews on his food.

"I like him even more when he's hammered. It reminds me of the time we first met." Hyunwoo smiles fondly as he moves pieces of meat on the pan with Kihyun still hanging on his arms with his full weight. Jooheon wonders how much the big guy works out to attain this strength.

Kihyun hums sheepishly as his drunk mind shows himself flashbacks of the first time they met. Hyunwoo blows on a piece of meat before feeding it to Kihyun.

"Hold up!" Kihyun places his chopsticks on the table with a bang and leans in with his elbows supporting his weight. "I never asked you two about how and when and where you two met."

Jooheon's throat dries up at the question and he exchanges a brief glance with Changkyun who looks equally perplexed.

He shouldn't know, Jooheon thinks. It's too out-of-the-world and Kihyun would only laugh at them for their fairytale-like story and he doesn't want his relationship to be ridiculed like that.

"Ah, yes! Tell us your story. I'm sure it's not as embarrassing as ours." Hyunwoo giggles as he turns over the pieces of meat.

"Well..." Changkyun starts, itching the back of his neck, trying to find ideas on how to explain without sounding like a fool. "Hyung and I... We saw a common dr-"

"Friends. We had common friends on Facebook. Mutuals. We met on Facebook." The lies drop out of Jooheon's mouth as smoothly as a waterfall and he isn't surprised anymore. He knows he has mastered in lying. He can feel Changkyun's expressions change into a confused frown so he pats his knee from under the table to let him know that he's in control.

Kihyun scowls accusingly. "You don't even use Facebo-"

"I do." He unlocks his phone to show him the app on his phone. He knew he would have to explain himself one day so he was already prepared. He knew this day would come but he didn't expect it to come so soon.

"But I remember Changkyun said something about jumping off and cliff together and going to the sea but you were with me all the time." Kihyun cocks an eyebrow up, examining both of their faces in his zeal to find a weak spot somewhere. He's not the one to give up.

"Stop being so nosy." Hyunwoo whispers into his boyfriend's ear but the latter isn't fazed.

"Remember when I said I went to attend Yoongi's listening party?" Kihyun nods, his eyes flicking up to think as his unstable mind struggles to find a grip. "I was never invited. I went to the sea to spend some time with him." Jooheon isn't surprised anymore at how fast he's able to come up with lies. He thanks the heavens for the venue for Yoongi's listening party to not give the attendees the permission to click pictures except the select paparazzi. He has no photo proof of him attending the party. He smiles smugly and imagines him patting his own shoulder when he's sure that Kihyun is convinced.

Jooheon thinks Kihyun is too drunk to be thinking so logically but he trusts his newly acquired trait of lying more.

"Okay... I believe you. But why did you hide your relationship from me?" Kihyun looks betrayed as he sulks.

Jooheon opens his mouth to say yet another lie but this time nothing comes out. He's reached a dead end.

"Because I'm too sexy and he was afraid you'd steal me." To his relief, Changkyun closes the case with a spectacular lie and Jooheon just wants to kiss him like he's never kissed before for saving his miserable ass from an over scrutinising Kihyun.

Jooheon squeezes the younger's knee as a token of thanks and smile at each other knowing their secret is safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. That's the story.
> 
> The End.
> 
> I just wanna say that I'm so thankful to whoever that took their time in reading and commenting on this. I seriously wouldn't have completed this book without supporters like you. 
> 
> Lastly, I'm sorry if I couldn't give justice to this book. I was suffering from bouts writer's block along the way so some of the chapters might seem a little bland but I'll edit it whenever I get time.
> 
> Thank you!


End file.
